The Princess Diaries (프린세스 다이어리)
2002/1/29 edited by schoolboy
[ Sirens ]
HELEN: Time for school!
HELEN: Stop daydreaming. You'll be late for school.
Sometimes I have dreams
MIA: Hey, Louie. Come on.
I picture myself flying
It's time to go to school.
Through the clouds
High in the sky
Conquering the world
With my magic piano
Never being scared
But then I realize
I'm Supergirl
And I'm here to save the world
But I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
HELEN: Are you feeling confident?
MIA: Not really.
Now just remember, when you make your speech...
don't look at the people.
Pick a spot on the back wall...
don't take your eyes off of it...
and speak loudly.
Thanks, Mom.
Bye, Mom.
Good luck.
Ooh ooh
Ooh
Morning, Buttons.
[ Barking ]
MAN: Be nice, Buttons.
MIA: Whoa. Whoa!
Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.
Have a nice day.
ROBUTUSEN: I doubt it.
Whoo!
I'm Supergirl
[ Sirens ]
I'm Supergirl
What I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
CHEERLEADERS: Hey, there, ho there
How do you do?
This is Grove Lions saying hi to you.
- I'm Lana... - Anna...
Fontana.
CHEERLEADERS: Go Lions!
BOY: Josh!
I'm Supergirl
- Josh! - What are you doing?
Oh, he's such a show-off.
Jeremiah, off the wall, please.
Come on. You know better than that.
MIA: Good morning, Miss Gupta.
Morning, Lilly...
Lilly's friend.
I'm Supergirl
Who's gonna save me?
You know, as manager of the team...
I really think you should be a part of the team.
Oh, oh! Oops.
I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
I was thinking...
Somebody sat on me again.
- Really? - Yeah.
MIA: I don't know what happened.
I was just sitting there, working on my speech...
It's really a dumb class--
LILLY: Jerk and jerkette sighting.
MIA: Hmm?
Soft kisses on a summer's day
Laughing all our cares away
And dream of--
- What? - What?
You never saw two idiots exchange saliva before?
Oh. Yeah.
They're so rude.
Good. You know, for a second there...
I thought you were going A-crowd on me.
MIA: Oh, heh. Negative.
LILLY: Ready for debate?
MIA: I'm never ready for debate.
[ Cheering ] BOY: Go, Josh!
JOSH: So this is not a debate.
This is a control issue.
Grove controls our minds with what they teach us...
but you know what?
They're not satisfied with that.
I think Grove should dump the uniforms...
and we have casual dress all year round!
[ Cheering ]
MR. O'CONNELL: All right, all right.
OK, girls, settle down. Settle down.
This is a debate, and after it's over...
I want you back in your school uniform.
JOSH: Hey, boss, whatever you say.
Josh, sit down.
- He's the man. - He's my man.
O'CONNELL: OK, Josh. Later, OK?
Down, down, boy. You made your point.
OK, so, now we've all heard...
from Josh Bryant for the affirmative.
[ Velcro rips ]
I love that sound.
What's my point again?
You like our uniforms. They're equalizers.
O'CONNELL: Now we'll hear the rebuttal...
from Mia Thermopolis...
who will present the negative argument...
against our proposition.
[ Scattered applause ]
GIRL: Come on, Mia!
BOY: Whoo-hoo!
Um...I th-think...um...
FONTANA: What a frizz-ball.
ANNA: Look at her hair.
O'CONNELL: Shh!
Um...
BOY: We're waiting.
SECOND BOY: Say something!
You see, um...I...
See, casual-- casual...uh...
[ Breathing heavily ]
GIRL: Are you OK?
ANNA: She's gonna barf.
SECOND GIRL: Oh, God! She's gonna hurl!
THIRD GIRL: Cover the tuba!
O'CONNELL: OK, OK. Everybody settle down.
Learn how to fly
Gotta move on
From what's breaking your heart...
MANAGER: Mia! Finish up with Mrs. Taubman...
and then you can take a break.
Another huge tip from Mrs. Hersh.
I got one from Mrs. Taubman. We're doing all right today.
Mr. Walsh's ropes are twisted.
VIVIAN: Mr. Walsh, stop twisting!
You'll strangle yourself!
Hi, Mom.
You threw up, huh?
And you ran away.
MIA: I'm trying to forget about it.
Can I have some shoes and chalk, please?
Anyway, I'll go talk to your debate teacher--
- What's his name? - Mr. O'Connell.
And straighten it all out.
Mom, I am never going to be a good public speaker.
Just call him and tell him I want to be a mime.
- I can do that. - Here you go.
Oh, your grandmother called.
What?
The live one.
Who lives in Genovia. Clarisse.
Oh. Wow.
This is the first time she's ever contacted us.
What'd she want?
She's in town.
She wants to have tea.
Tea? She came all the way from Europe to have tea?
[ Telephone rings ]
I think I'm gonna climb a little bit.
MANAGER: Rocks Around the Clock
MIA: Isn't this the grandmother who made you get a divorce?
Well, she didn't approve of me...
but Phillipe and I made the decision...
to divorce on our own.
Why should I go see this snobby lady who ignores us?
Mia, she's your father's mother.
Just go see her tomorrow.
- Please? - Tension.
She said your father hoped...
that you two would meet someday.
[ Sighs ] All right, I'll go.
[ Playing rock and roll music ]
BOY: Whoo!
All right, I win.
Band practice is over.
I have a music class here. Out!
Let's have the third group try "Catch a Falling."
Charles, you want to be in the front?
- Thanks. - No problem.
Michael.
Are you sure you can't help me...
with my Spotted Owl petition today?
I'm meeting my grandmother after school.
[ Piano playing ] Oh, right.
Catch a falling star
And put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star
And put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day
For love may come and
Tap you on the shoulder
Some starless night
SPEAKER: School tours are on Saturday, young lady.
I'm here for a meeting with my grandmother.
Name?
Clarisse Renaldi.
Oh. Please come to the front door.
Thank you very much.
SPEAKER: Get off the grass!
[ Message repeated in other languages ]
Welcome, Miss Thermopolis.
We've been expecting you.
MIA: Oh, be careful.
Please don't crush my soy nuts.
Your soy nuts are safe.
OK.
Right this way.
Please, make yourself comfortable.
WOMAN: ...for their daughter Marissa.
She's allergic to peanuts.
And we need new pillows for the prime minister's wife.
She's allergic to goose feathers.
Hello, Amelia.
I'm Charlotte, from the Genovian attache corps.
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
Um, where am I?
CHARLOTTE: The Genovian Consulate.
MIA: You've got pears in your flowers.
Genovian pears. We're famous for them.
Now, if you'll sit down...
she'll be with you in a moment.
No, I don't need a moment. I'm here.
Amelia, I'm so glad you could come.
MIA: Hi. You've got a great place.
Thank you.
Well, let me look at you.
You look so...young.
Thank you.
And you look so...
clean.
Charlotte, would you check on tea in the garden?
Please, sit.
So, my mom said you wanted...
to talk to me about something. Shoot.
Oh, before I "shoot"...
I have something I want to give you.
Here.
Oh, um, thank you.
Wow.
CLARISSE: It's the Genovian crest.
It was mine when I was young.
And that was my great-grandmother's.
Heh. I'll keep this safe.
I will take good care of it.
Now, what did you want to tell me?
CLARISSE: Something that I think will have...
a very big impact upon your life.
I already had braces.
No, it's bigger than orthodontia.
The tea is served, ma'am.
Amelia, have you ever heard...
of Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gerard Renaldi?
No.
He was the crown prince of Genovia.
Hmm.
What about him?
Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gerard Renaldi...
was your father.
[ Snorts ] Yeah, sure.
My father was the prince of Genovia.
Uh-huh. You're joking.
Why would I joke about something like that?
No! Because if he's really a prince, then I--
Exactly.
You're not just Amelia Thermopolis.
You are Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi...
Princess of Genovia.
Me? A princess?
Shut up!
I beg your pardon? Shut up?
Your Majesty, in America...
it doesn't always mean "Be quiet."
Here it could mean, "Wow," "Gee whiz," "Golly"--
Oh, I understand. Thank you.
Nevertheless, you are the princess.
And I am Queen Clarisse Renaldi.
Why would you pick me to be your princess?
Since your father died, you are the natural heir...
to the throne of Genovia. That's our law.
I'm royal by marriage.
You are royal by blood.
You can rule.
Rule? Oh, no.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Now you have really got the wrong girl.
I never lead anybody--
not at Brownies, not at Camp Fire Girls--
Queen Clarisse, my expectation in life...
is to be invisible, and I'm good at it.
Amelia, I had other expectations also.
In my wildest dreams...
I never expected this to happen.
But you are the legal heir--
the only heir-- to the Genovian throne...
and we will accept the challenge...
of helping you become the princess that you are.
Oh, I can give you books.
You will study languages, history, art, political science.
I can teach you to walk, talk, sit, stand...
eat, dress like a princess.
And, given time, I think you'll find...
the palace in Genovia a very pleasant place to live.
- Live in Genovia? - It's a wonderful country.
Whoa, whoa. Just--
Rewind and freeze.
I'm no princess.
I'm still waiting for normal body parts to arrive.
I refuse to move to and rule a country...
and--Do you want another reason?
I don't want to be a princess!
Oh, Amelia...Amelia!
Amelia, come back here!
CLARISSE: Ohh!
[ Sighs ]
Well, that went well, didn't it?
- Perhaps she needs more time. - Will you help me?
Miss Thermopolis?
I'm the head of your security...
and you want me to be a chauffeur and baby-sitter.
For the time being. The child needs protection.
MIA: For 15 years...
you couldn't find a spare minute...
to tell me that my father is a royal?
I thought I was doing the right thing.
The right thing for who, Mom?
For all of us.
I mean, if we secretly divorced...
he would be able to find a woman...
who would stay by his side and produce heirs...
and I would be free to live my life with you.
I mean, please! We met in college!
I was young! I wanted to paint.
Can you see me walking one step behind someone...
for the rest of my life?
With rules and regulations...
and the waving and the bowing and the scraping?
I was scared!
MIA: Living with a mother...
who lied to me for 15 years scares me.
Where are you going?
To straighten up the royal bed chamber.
HELEN: After the divorce, we all discussed it.
Your father and your grandmother...
both agreed to keep that distance...
so you would have a chance of a normal childhood...
free of emotional complications.
We were going to tell you when you were 18 years old...
but when your father died, things changed, Mia.
We wanted to protect you.
You know what?
I don't feel protected.
You try living for 15 years...
thinking that you're one person...
and then in five minutes you find out...
that you're a princess.
Just in case...
I'm not enough of a freak already...
let's add a tiara!
[ Sighs ]
Well, drink your soup.
I'm not really hungry.
Fine.
Good night, sweetheart.
Fat Louie...
[ Purring ]
You are so lucky...
you don't know who your parents are.
[ Meow ]
I've never ridden in a limo...
he admitted bitterly to himself...
as he crossed to the open window...
and looked out at the bay, the fog looming...
like his pathetic life before him.
I can't believe I won an Emmy.
I have this favorite photo of Phillipe.
We had so much fun when we were in college.
He was so full of joie de vivre...
always laughing and smiling.
CLARISSE: I remember.
Helen, if Amelia refuses to accept the throne...
then Genovia will cease to exist as we know it.
So the future of your country...
is in the hands of my 15-year-old?
Here it is.
Oh.
CLARISSE: Phillipe was ready to be king.
Then the terrible accident.
Even though it didn't work out between us...
I loved your son very much.
Thank you.
Well, as always...
this is as good as it's gonna get.
Hmm.
I can't wait until she's 18.
[ Mia sighs ]
Oh, this is a nightmare.
I'm going back to bed.
Mia, the three of us have to talk.
Oh, OK. Is there something else...
about me and my life I might want to know about?
Are you two waiting to take me on a talk show...
to tell me I have a twin sister who's a duchess?
You have a cousin who's a contessa.
Fondly known as Bartholomew.
Actually, we call him Pookie.
Yesterday did not go well.
Will you just listen to your grandmother?
Amelia, in a matter of weeks...
we have an annual ball.
I was--I am hoping that I may present you...
to the press and the public on that occasion.
However, you desperately need some instruction.
I speak for the entire Genovian parliament...
and the royal family.
And I speak for this family.
Excuse me...
I don't have a family with either one of you...
because you ignored me for 15 years...
and you lied to me.
Families don't do stuff like that, OK?
[ Footsteps going upstairs ]
Where is she going?
The tower.
Mia, you can't run from everything!
She has a tower?
HELEN: Please? Just come down from there.
MIA: Most kids hope for a car...
for their 16th birthday, not a country!
Just make yourself comfortable.
[ Fat Louie hisses ]
HELEN: This is getting us nowhere!
Talk to me.
I can't talk to you right now.
I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.
I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal.
HELEN: I have a thought.
Mia promises to attend princess lessons...
until your ball.
Well, it's not my ball.
It's Genovia's annual Independence Day ball.
I'm sorry.
Mia promises neither to accept nor reject...
your offer to be royal until this grand ball...
and then she makes her decision.
Now, can you both live with that?
It seems I have no option.
[ Sighs ] If I have to.
But I want not one word of this until that evening.
Is that understood?
Duh.
CLARISSE: The press would have a field day.
Well. Let's not keep Spain and Portugal waiting.
[ Car horn honks ]
I'll be 16 this year...
and my mom traded two paintings for a 1966 Mustang.
You do know what a Mustang is, right?
I raise mustangs.
That is not a sensible car for a princess.
It isn't sensible for anyone. It doesn't run.
I suppose I could donate something to this vehicle.
MIA: Good morning, Mr. Robutusen.
CLARISSE: Who is this gentleman?
MIA: Oh, he's my neighbor...
but you wouldn't want to meet him.
He doesn't have very nice manners.
Good morning.
There's someone I want you to meet.
OK. Whoa.
You have two limousines?
One is yours.
You raise limousines, too?
No. Amelia, this is Joseph.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
The elegant European woman didn't stay for tea...
Thanks.
But the promise of tomorrow hung in the air.
[ Car door shuts ]
MIA: Ooh!
Uh, Princess?
Princess, may I point out...
that no matter how many times you push it...
it will go up and down the same way.
MIA: Joseph, can we eighty-six the flags? Please?
No.
The flags allow me to park anywhere.
We keep the flags.
Sorry, Joseph.
You can call me Joe.
Joey?
Heh heh heh heh.
No. Joe.
Did I miss something?
Are we going to a wedding?
Uh, no. School.
No, this is the surprise ride.
[ Speaking foreign language ]
MIA: This is Joe.
Joe, Lilly. Lilly, Joe.
LILLY: Hi, it's nice to meet you.
You know you look like Shaft?
Yes. Excuse me.
- You want a ride, right? - Yeah, totally.
Hey, I got it.
Of course.
- OK. - Oh, my word!
JOE: Please fasten your seat belts, ladies.
LILLY: Is your mother dating an undertaker?
Uh, no.
This long-lost grandmother showed up...
and she wants me to use it.
- And? - I--I don't know.
I guess she's just trying to be nice...
to get me to like her.
LILLY: Oh.
MIA: Hey, Joe?
Can you please park a block away from school?
I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.
This is a non-riot hearse.
And if it were a hearse...
there would be silence in the back seat.
[ Girls laughing ]
CHEERLEADERS: Hey there, ho there
How do you do?
This is Grove Lions saying hi to you.
Go Lions! Roror!
P.A.: This is a reminder.
Virtual homework may not be submitted...
for actual credit.
FONTANA: Tell me, Mia.
Is it true about your speech?
Are you really speaking at the Bulimic Convention?
So you can speak and barf at the same time?
[ Vomiting sounds ]
[ Vomiting sounds ]
MS. HARBULA: Good.
Good glove, Michael. Way to go.
I'll let this one go, Mia. Try catching.
Are you sure?
It's slow-pitch. Don't worry about it.
MIA: Oh.
Now get it and throw it back to the pitcher.
- OK. - Come on.
[ Crowd gasps ]
- I am so sorry. - Mm.
- I'm really-- - Mm.
- I didn't mean to-- - Mm.
- Can I help you? - Ice. Get me ice.
[ Trolley bell dings ]
LILLY: I'm on the verge of becoming a nutcase...
and my parents think I need an attitude adjustment.
MIA: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
LILLY: Sorry. Yeah, so my dad wants...
to take me to dinner tonight, just the two of us.
We ran out of things to talk about when I was 8.
MIA: At least your dad's still alive.
LILLY: Hey.
I thought you'd gotten over that.
It's been two months.
MIA: I know, I know.
But, after all, he was my dad.
Biologically, yes, but you never met the man.
Just a nice card and gift on your birthday for 15 years?
Be fair. They were beautiful presents.
Remember that Faberge merry-go-round he sent me?
That was nice.
And he paid for my school tuition.
- I guess so. - Lilly, I gotta run.
I gotta see your brother about my baby.
LILLY: OK, but let's take the limo tomorrow.
These hills are killing me.
MIA: You got it.
[ Rock music playing ]
[ Telephone rings ]
[ Rings ]
He fixes cars, he plays guitar...
and he can sing.
- He is so hot! - He is wicked sweet.
DOC: Hello. Talk loud, I got a band rehearsing.
MICHAEL: You've been listening to the sounds of Flypaper.
We're flying away now.
DOC: All right, stop yelling. They're finished.
Hey, that's-- It's sounding really good.
You know, Ned is really wailing.
Hello, Mia.
Hey, Doc.
So, what's the diagnosis for my baby?
Four hundred dollars.
[ Horn honks ]
DOC: Yeah, I know. It costs to be cool, huh?
MIA: This is not my day.
I'll do some labor free.
MIA: Thanks, but I'll talk to my grandma about it.
It'll be great.
I'll see you guys later. I gotta be somewhere.
Ooh. "I'll do some labor free."
Heh. You sweet on her?
She's my sister's best friend!
Yeah, that's the hardest place to be.
Between friend and friendlier, huh?
[ Laughs ]
I'm trying to find a way
I'm trying to find a ride...
Your Majesty, the diplomatic pouch has arrived...
and she's here.
CLARISSE: Send her in.
CHARLOTTE: Yes, ma'am.
CHARLOTTE: I need more roses--
red, white, mauve. Mauve!
- Miss Amelia, welcome. - Hi.
Straight ahead to your left.
Her Majesty is ready for you in the library.
CLARISSE: Charlotte, take notes, will you?
Amelia, circle slowly...
so I can evaluate the work to be done.
Amelia!
Does your bad posture affect your hearing?
- Turn. - Oh, sorry.
No, no, no. Slowly, turn.
Slowly. Thank you.
Well, carriage, obviously. Hairstyle.
Complexion...
Stop!
Eyes...lovely...
but hidden beneath bushman eyebrows.
The neck is seemly.
Ears...
like her father.
Really? They are?
Oh, my! Who has nails like these?
Everybody.
Tomorrow I would like to see clean fingers.
And you will wear stockings.
Not tights, not socks.
And I never want to see those shoes again.
When walking in a crowd...
one is under scrutiny all the time.
So we don't slump, like this.
We drop the shoulders...
we think tall...
we tuck under and transfer the weight...
from one foot to--
No. Princesses never cross their legs in public.
Why don't you just tuck one ankle behind the other...
and place the hands gracefully on the knees.
Aah!
Charlotte, I think it's time for tea.
MIA: Tell me, how does my mother--
or, really, any person, for that matter--
go into a parent-teacher conference...
and come out with a date?
Mia, Mr. O'Connell is not married...
he's not living with anyone...
plus he's not pierced, tattooed, or hair-plugged.
Do you realize how rare that is south of Market Street?
Did it ever occur to you...
that if you dated one of my teachers...
it would give the other kids...
license to mock me for the rest of my life?
No, you're right. I didn't, and I'm sorry.
[ Sighs ]
It's just that Patrick--
Mr. O'Connell-- is such a nice man.
He's a real gentleman...
and I haven't met one of those in a long, long time.
OK. It's--it's fine.
I just can't do anything right anymore, can I?
[ Meow ]
BOYS: Come on! Go for it!
- Come on, get her! - In your face!
Aah, aah, aah!
HARBULA: Come on, come on!
Just block one, Mia!
I can't do this. I'm a girl.
What am I, a duck?
No! I mean... You're an athletic girl.
I am a synchronized swimming, yoga-doing...
horseback-riding, wall-climbing-type girl.
My hand-eye coordination is zero.
All right, you can go again later.
Josh! Get in here.
Yeah, I'm in.
So, I was watching you earlier...
and you're way tense.
You know what I'm saying?
Soft kisses on a summer's day...
You gotta think like the ball. Be the ball.
You gotta stop it, know what I mean?
- Heh? - Heh.
Bring it on.
- Hey, Joe? - Mm-hmm?
I'm turning the back seat into a dressing room...
so I can change into a proper outfit for madame.
Yes, well, don't forget your shoes.
Oh, thanks.
Strange town, San Francisco.
When I purchased the pumps...
they asked if I wanted them wrapped...
or if I wanted to wear them.
All right, closing.
Ah ah bop bop ba dop
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
Going up.
Oh little bitty pretty one
Come on and talk to me
Aah!
Let me grab you lovely one
You all right?
Yeah--oh--I'm fine.
- Going down. - Whoo!
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
I've never put on pantyhose, but it sounds dangerous.
MIA: Grandma? Is it customary in Genovia...
to imprison your dinner guests with Hermeez scarves?
CLARISSE: It's Hermes.
The scarf is merely a training tool.
Eventually you will learn to sit...
and eat properly without it.
Manners matter.
But enough etiquette for the day.
Now, Genovia does a lot of trade with Spain...
so we prepare for that.
The quickest way to a Spanish heart is dance.
Shall we?
Now tell me, what kind of dancing do you do?
Dancing? Just the normal kind.
You know, like...
Bom chicka bom bom
Bom tss um bom
JOE: I see.
JOE: We have a Genovian alternative.
[ Dance music playing ]
Now, the dances here are very sedate...
right from the hips. In place.
No bobbing of the head, please.
It's not a doggy on a dashboard.
JOE: Straight up.
Let's practice this here.
Now, this dance is...
between a waltz and a tango, you see?
MIA: It's a wango?
JOE: No.
All right, here we go. Spin out...
and spin into me. Spin into--Uhh!
- [ Gasps ] - OK.
I--No, no, no, no.
JOE: Try again. One more spin.
Very quickly, now pull away.
That's it. Good.
Good attitude. Spin in.
- Good. - I did it?
Grandma, I spun without hurting anyone!
That's very good news.
Spin, spin, spin. Yes, done.
Better. It's coming along.
Now you may go home.
Thank you! See you tomorrow!
Thank you, Joseph.
[ Dance music playing ]
You've been wearing black too long.
P.A.: This is Coach Harbula.
You can sign up now for the Baker Beach Party.
MIA: Oh! Sorry. Sorry.
JOSH: Hey, Bobby Bad!
Sorry.
LILLY: Mia! Are you ready?
Oh, hey. I'm really sorry...
but I can't do it today. I've got a Grandma thing.
I'll call you. Bye.
What? Has your grandma turned into the big bad wolf?
JEREMIAH: Shazam.
Cute, Jeremiah, but a way to a girl's heart...
is not by treating her like a vending machine.
SPEAKER: Get off the grass!
[ Message repeats in several languages ]
Hi, Adolpho! I'm late!
She's late.
- You're late. - I know.
I'm really sorry about it--
- And where is Paolo? - Send in Paolo.
CLARISSE: Ah! Always prompt.
[ Italian accent ] Regina Mia. Buon giorno.
My assistant, Gretchen and Helga.
CLARISSE: Good afternoon.
We're so pleased you could make yourself available.
Your Majesty.
We won't waste time. Let the work begin.
PAOLO: Ah. Of course.
Where is the beautiful girl?
My granddaughter Amelia.
Aah!
She is gorgeous. Let us take a closer look.
Paolo, we have a limited number of days...
before the state dinner.
Frizzy, busy, dizzy.
In the best sense.
Oh, I would like it if your ladies...
would also sign our confidentiality agreement.
Majesty, they know what is a secret, eh?
[ Speaking foreign language ]
CHARLOTTE: Excuse me, Your Majesty.
The Genovian press secretary's waiting for your call.
Oh, yes, of course.
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave...
and come back and be surprised.
[ Claps hands ]
Charlotte, watch him like a hawk.
PAOLO: Buerste, Helga!
Danke.
So we begin, Principessa, eh?
In Paolo's hands, remember...
you will be beautiful.
You have thick hair.
Heh heh heh.
Like a wolf.
Ow!
Is all right. Heh heh heh.
Do you wear contact lenses?
Well, I have them...
but I don't really like to wear them that much.
Now you do.
You broke my glasses!
You broke my brush.
PAOLO: Gretchen! Helga! Attack!
PAOLO: I love your eyebrows.
We'll call them "Frida" and "Kahlo. "
If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx...
that child would have your eyebrows.
Do you want to know a big secret?
- Tell me. - The cucumber does nothing.
Heh heh heh. This is something we make up.
Majesty, Paolo is exhausted...
because, Majesty, only Paolo can take this...
and this... and give you...
BOTH: A princess.
Better. Much better.
Mille grazie.
Why don't we go and have a wonderful cup of tea?
Si.
CLARISSE: Come, Mia.
[ Playing harmonica ]
Lilly, the car's here!
LILLY: I'm coming!
[ Plays ]
Thanks for the ride. Thank you.
Hey.
What?
Michael, don't always think you can get a ride with us.
Oy.
LILLY: Who destroyed you?
Oh. You think it looks that bad?
You look ridiculous. You should sue.
Well, um... [ Laughs ]
I know it's a little straighter and shorter--
Weirder!
An attractive weirder.
LILLY: No. It's not attractive.
Seat belts, please.
LILLY: What I really can't understand...
you ditched me again yesterday...
when I needed your help on the Greenpeace petition.
This bag! You have one of these bags?
You know we could hock that...
and feed a whole Third World country?
Am I right?
No.
If there are no more passengers...
I think we should close the door.
LILLY: You used to care more about...
what was inside your head instead of on it.
Come on, Mia. Fess up.
I don't know where you are these days...
and now you're turning into an A-crowd wanna be?
You're morphing into one of them!
And who knows, next week...
you could be waving pom-poms in my face.
You sold out!
Was my rear-view mirror fogging up...
or was someone tearing back there?
I'm fine.
Very well. Then I'll go meet your grandmother.
But you should know that...
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt said that.
Yes. Another special lady like yourself.
I'll be back at 3:00.
Thank you.
She has a hat.
Do you really think wearing that hat...
will keep people from seeing your new Lana-do?
Just because the student population...
might be morally bankrupt doesn't mean they're blind.
Lilly! Just stop it, OK?
Just because your hair sucks, get off mine!
MICHAEL: Ouch. Thank you.
Michael, can you please pretend you have a life...
for just one moment?
Hey, relax. Breathe.
Hee. Hoo. Hee.
[ Playing harmonica ]
What did you just say to me?
You heard me.
I am so sick...
of you ragging on me all the time...
and always telling me what to do.
I get enough of that from my mother...
and now my grandmother, and I don't need it from you!
I'm not an idiot...
so I know something's going on you're not telling me!
Friends tell, so you know what?
Here is your friendship charm.
I'm taking it off and it's going in the dirt!
Don't do that, OK? Just--Ugh!
All right, just wait.
Why?
I will tell you the truth...
but you're gonna think it's really stupid...
and you're gonna freak.
Try me.
[ Buzzing ]
[ Gasps ] Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Is that all you can say?
I'm sorry I was harsh...
and I don't know what else there is to say.
Will you come on my cable show?
No, I can't. This is a royal secret.
You can't tell anyone. Not even Michael.
Especially not Michael. You are sworn to secrecy.
- Of course. - Secret handshake.
[ Spitting ]
MIA: We might have to think of a new secret handshake.
LILLY: Are you really sure you can run a country?
You can barely keep your goldfish alive...
for more than a couple of days.
Lilly, I'm really sure of anything right now.
Listen, there are pros and cons to being a princess.
Shh! Don't say that word. People can hear.
Class has begun!
Class has begun and I have a little surprise for you.
Pop quiz. French Revolution.
Mr. O'Connell, there's a school rule...
that says nobody's allowed to wear hats in class.
And I don't think anybody should be...
an exception to that rule, do you?
O'CONNELL: No, Lana.
Mia, I'm sorry, but hats are against the dress code.
Mia?
[ Class reacts ]
Mamma Mia.
LANA: Look who's trying to fit in now.
ANNA: It's a wig, right?
MELISSA: I think it looks really sweet, Mia.
ANNA: Looks like she got a head transplant.
Well, I think it rocks. And you know what?
Voltaire. Hair.
I would personally like to learn about Voltaire.
OK, Lilly, OK.
Everybody settle down now.
Quiz time, OK?
CLARISSE: Lovely. But now we need fountains...
lights in the trees.
The Japanese Embassy has a waterfall.
Why can't we have fountains?
We have a fountain up there, ma'am.
Well, I would like at least two in here.
Charlotte, just make me an Eden.
Yes, ma'am.
- Amelia? Let's continue. - Hmm?
CLARISSE: In your spare time, I would like you to read these.
"What's in a name?
"That which we call a rose by any other word...
"would smell as sweet."
And so you wave to them...
and acknowledge them gracefully.
Hello.
No. Not quite so big, because, of course...
it's very, very exhausting after a while.
Very funny, dear. Try it properly.
Waving-- even more gently--
You say, "Thank you for being here today."
- Thank you. - For being here.
JOE: I'm sorry, ma'am.
I must pick up the prime minister.
Excuse me.
BOTH: Well, thank you for being here today.
MIA: So this is considered art?
HELEN: My parents did this in the Sixties.
Yes! They had an exhibition at Woodstock.
And I guess you're trying to bring it back?
HELEN: Well, this beats homework.
Yeah. Some moms help their kids with homework...
we do this.
Oh, nice shot!
Oh, yes, I like it.
Bull's-eye!
[ Laughing ]
- Yeah! - I did it!
I love life, life loves me
Everything in the world
This is more fun than princess lessons.
[ Dripping ]
MICHAEL: What are you doing this Saturday night?
Are you guys playing?
We're rehearsing some new things.
We got two new songs.
Oh, yeah?
Plus, surprise, we got the new parts for your 'Stang.
Oh, yay.
We could put it together together.
OK. Is this like a date?
- No. - [ Giggles ]
Music, cars.
- Would it include pizza? - Pizza's a given.
MIA: With M&Ms?
Wait up! Wait for me!
Not you! I don't even know you!
- Well, then, I am in. - Great!
LILLY: Hi! Whoo-hoo!
Saturday, it's on?
Yeah. Great. Hey, Lil.
- Hi. - What's up?
- What's happening? - I don't know.
[ Loud chatter ]
MIA: What's going on?
- Maybe it's a protest. - Maybe.
Excuse me. Hi. Who are you waiting for?
LANA: There she is right there! Mia Thermopolis!
We're waiting for you.
Right here, Princess! Talk to me!
MIA: Lilly, did you tell?
I didn't say anything!
Princess Mia! Who's your favorite actor?
Why are they calling her "Princess"?
WOMAN: Princess Mia, what do you do about pimples?
Come on. Let's just go, please!
MAN: Can we quote you, Your Majesty?
Come on, Mia. Let's get inside.
LANA: Oh, Mia! Ohh!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Excuse me, Mister? Hi!
The phone's ringing off the hook.
What?!
Oh!
O'CONNELL: Mia, your mother's on her way.
[ Telephone rings ]
Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
The queen is coming to Grove High School.
SUKI: A limo with flags!
MALE REPORTER: A Genovian limousine has arrived.
The queen is getting out.
SUKI: Your Majesty, why all the secrets?
All we keep hearing is "No comment."
Do you have a comment?
Your Majesty--
Will you be visiting the White House?
Are you taking the princess home?
MIA: Mom, I don't know who told on me.
HELEN: We'll get to the bottom of this.
Here's your tea, Your Majesty.
I'm sorry we don't have finer china.
That's perfectly all right.
Here.
Joseph?
- Speak. - Paolo?
Majesty, it was I who told the press about you.
I outed you. So to speak. I don't mean to imply--
- Grazie. - Prego.
But not for money, Principessa.
Paolo hates money. He spits on money.
There was no money. Well, some money.
After all, a man like me, each ring is--
The point is, it was pride and ego...
who drove me to know that royalty would see one day...
the beauty was mine! The hair was mine!
That I, Paolo Puttanesca, was responsible for--
- Grazie. - Prego.
[ Speaking Italian ]
By the way, your hair--magnificent.
The next time, we go a little lighter?
MAN: Your Highness, would you like to say anything?
GUPTA: Isn't that just awful?
Doesn't anyone respect royalty anymore?
What is it like in Genovia, Your Majesty?
Do people just fawn over you?
I wonder, would you give us a moment alone?
GUPTA: I'm the vice-principal.
Joseph, would you take this fine educator...
and show her your security plans for Amelia's safety?
What?
Ah, yes, of course.
Your Majesty, thank you.
Your security system is a bit lax.
Oh, is it?
HELEN: A week ago, Mia was a normal little kid.
She has never been normal. She was born royal.
And we cope with the press every single day...
and we will do it again.
You don't have to do this.
You can get out of this whole thing right now.
Your mother is right, Amelia.
We had a bargain.
All right. I will think about it...
and let you know soon.
CLARISSE: Good. A diplomatic answer.
Polite, but vague.
Mia Thermopolis is the daughter...
of local eclectic artist Helen Thermopolis.
They currently live in a refurbished firehouse...
south of Market Street.
Mia is also the only grandchild of Queen Clarisse Renaldi...
whose husband, King Rupert, passed away last year.
This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.
[ School bell rings ]
WOMAN ON P.A.: Will the Feng Shui Club...
please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn?
LILLY: Hello? Princess?
You're the most popular girl in school.
Everybody wants to take your picture.
Everybody wants to be your best friend.
- Hi, Lilly. - Hi.
LILLY: So I've made a list...
of all the reasons for you not to be a princess.
Number one--no privacy.
Number two--you always have to look just right.
- Number three-- - Whoo!
MIA: Ha ha ha!
LILY: Are you OK?
MIA: Ha ha! Number three. What was number three?
Number three-- you can't go nut so.
You can't be all "Bleah" during the day.
Lilly, um...
I really don't want to talk about this...
at the moment, OK?
Just one last question.
Now that you're "out"...
would you come on my cable show on Saturday night?
Yeah, sure.
I love you!
I'll buy you another charm for your charm bracelet.
OK? Ooh!
See you Saturday night!
Joe!
Yes, Miss Mia?
I don't want to run my own country.
I just want to pass 10th grade...
so can't I just tell everyone that I simply quit?
No one can quit being who they really are...
not even a princess.
Now, you can refuse the job...
but you are a princess by birth.
How can I tell if I can even do the job?
By simply, simply trying.
Like the fancy dinner coming up.
She thinks you're ready.
MIA: Really?
Shall we practice entering like a princess?
OK.
Entering.
JOSEPH: At the grand ball, you enter with the queen...
but at the state dinner, you enter unaccompanied.
Shoulders back. Smile.
They're all happy to see you.
BARON: Ah, there she is.
BARONESS: How is she?
You are much prettier.
[ Mia exhales ]
JOE: Well done. The worst is over.
Our diligent Prime Minister, Sebastian Motaz...
Hello.
And his lovely wife Sheila...
Nice to meet you.
And their charming daughter Marissa.
Oh! Lord Fricker, let me take your brandy glass.
You won't need it in there.
And easy on the schnapps.
Remember the Winter Dinner.
MARISSA: I'm not allowed to go to the party.
[ Chuckling ]
Dinner is served.
[ Snoring ]
MOTAZ: Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse.
Someday we will own Genovia again...
and you will be queen.
And your face will be on a postage stamp.
CLARISSE: How are the children, Robbie?
Would you like to see them, ma'am?
There's Ryan and Bridget.
CLARISSE: Oh, they're beautiful.
Would you like to see?
PRINCESS PALISADES: So, Mr. Prime Minister...
how would you say the pear market...
is doing in Genovia?
The Genovian pear market is blossoming...
if you'll pardon the pun.
[ Overlapping conversations ]
And that's their princess.
They grow up so fast, don't they?
MIA: Hi. You wanted to see me?
Is everything all right?
Um, yes, yes.
What was happening with the ice bucket?
Oh. I just had a little clumsy moment.
- OK. - Bye.
The food's delicious, by the way.
SHEILA: It was for a feminist group in Scotland...
called "Tarts for Tartan."
They were a wild bunch.
Very exciting.
Thank you.
Between the courses to cleanse the palate.
Bien?
[ Whimpers ]
[ Mumbles ] I'm sorry. It's a little cold.
SHEILA: She didn't realize it was frozen.
What should we do?
Well, we should take that much, too.
Just do the same thing.
MIA: No! No! It's cold!
[ Both mumbling ]
They are acting like monkeys.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
[ Mumbling ]
[ Snorts ]
[ Snorting ]
[ Bang ] Ah!
[ Bang ] Ah!
[ Gasps ]
Have you ever experienced that instant headache...
when you eat ice too quickly?
No.
Wash your hands.
[ Clearing throat ]
[ Clears throat ]
[ Tapping ]
Excuse me.
I'm really sorry.
It happens all the time.
I would like to propose a toast...
to the Baroness and Baron Von Troken.
May you always be Baron.
Ahh, the famous Genovian pear and cheese dessert.
What else?
Ooh.
WOMAN: ...to our country.
You are nothing but an overdressed, drunken--
I'm outta here!
Oof! Aah!
WOMAN: Oh! I am sopping!
Was that my fault?
Ha ha ha ha!
[ Laughing ]
Shall we adjourn to the grand hall for coffee?
Sorry I let you down, Dad.
[ Winding ]
[ Sighs ] Good night, Louie.
[ Music playing ]
CLARISSE: This place was such a mess when I first arrived.
I've been spending every spare moment in it I can.
Pick up one of these. Make yourself useful.
Spray everything.
You're not mad at me for what happened?
Actually, I found it rather funny.
Reminds me of my first royal dinner party.
I accidentally knocked over a suit of armor...
and the spear went right through the suckling pig.
Amelia, why don't we cancel lessons for today...
and just have some fun?
MIA: Fun?
You're not too busy for something like that?
Your Majesty, Lady Jerome has arrived...
and I have the French Consulate's assistant on hold.
He wants to confirm tonight's dinner.
Send my apologies.
Cancel everything for today.
I'm being shown San Francisco...
by a true San Franciscan.
Tell Joseph I'll need the car.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, wait! I want to show you my baby.
It's a she thing and it's all in me
I can be anything that I want to be
Don't consider me a minority
Ladies, help me out...
CLARISSE: I haven't sat in the front seat of a car...
in the longest time.
MIA: By the way...
thanks for the money for my car, Grandma.
CLARISSE: So, where are you taking me?
MIA: Well, do you have any change?
CLARISSE: It's not appropriate for royalty to jingle.
MIA: OK. I'll get the change.
This one's my favorite!
You put the quarter in and grab his hand.
CLARISSE: I touch that?
Yes, you touch that.
And then you press the button...
and, uh...
And then you just go.
CLARISSE: Looks like Rupert's cousin...
from Liechtenstein.
How do I know when it's ready?
Oh, it'll just go. There you go!
- Go, go, go! - Ow!
CLARISSE: You enjoy this humiliation?
MIA: Well, it's hard the first time...
but you can do it again.
Hold this.
MIA: Oh, come on! You can do it, Grandma!
I'm ready for you this time!
Ready?
Go! It's going! It's going!
Go, go, go, go, go! You're doing it!
You're doing it! Go! Oh, yes!
Hah! Ho!
Got it! Give me five!
- Five? - Five.
Oh!
[ Bell dings ]
[ Mia laughs ]
Oh!
I want one of these!
Just not this one.
So...did my father always want to be a prince?
Oh, yes.
Except once, about 15 years ago...
he seriously considered renouncing his title...
because he met a lovely artist...
who showed him wonderful things...
about how life could be...
how he could be.
But?
But he had a decision to make...
and nobody could make it for him.
Not I--though many people thought I did--
or anybody else.
Phillipe knew that my firstborn...
his brother Pierre, wanted to abdicate...
which he did, eventually, to join the church.
Your father realized...
that the love he could have for one person--
or even two--
could not make him forget the love...
he felt for his country and its people.
It was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
Um...oh...
Do you want a bite of this?
Why not?
Well, here goes.
Why, it's delicious!
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, OK! Let's get another one!
MIA: It's the fastest way back to the Consulate...
but I hate this hill!
I do believe I'm beginning to feel that corn dog.
Uhh! Eh! Ah!
Maybe you can just sneak gently through?
- OK, I'll try. - Good.
CLARISSE: Right. Now, blaze on up.
MIA: I--I got it!
- You've got it. - I got it!
You've got it!
Uhh!
MIA: Oh! I haven't got it!
CLARISSE: Uh-oh! Mia! Brake!
Brake! Look out!
Down here!
MIA: Aah!
- Oh! - Oh!
9-1-1 , I need to report an accident.
CONDUCTOR: You didn't hear the bell?!
[ Bell ringing ]
They put me on hold.
Oh, for the love of God!
CONDUCTOR: Put down destruction of public property.
I will, I will. And last, but not least...
driving without a license.
Accompanied by an adult whose license expired...
45 years ago.
I've been trying to tell you, Officer.
Licenses don't expire in Genovia.
Not for the queen.
Don't I have diplomatic immunity?
You do, but her we have to take downtown.
What?
OFFICER: I'm sorry, miss.
It's all right, Officer. I understand.
I...
I understand perfectly.
You do?
Mia, no town, no city, no country...
can function peacefully...
if its officers and its transportation engineers...
don't follow the letter of the law.
Why, I would be proud...
to have two such fine, honorable gentlemen...
serving in Genovia.
OFFICER: Aw, shucks, ma'am.
Ma'am, we're not all that.
Oh, but you most certainly are.
As a matter of fact...
I would like to bestow upon you...
the honor of the...
Genovian Order of the...
uh...Genovian Order of the Rose.
Oh--oh! Ooh!
- Ooh! - Ooh!
Oh.
Would you please kneel?
Um...does anybody have a sabre?
Oh! I've got an umbrella!
I have an emergency brake.
This will do fine, thank you.
With the power vested in me...
by the royal crown of Genovia...
I dub thee--
Artie Washington, San Francisco, ma'am.
CLARISSE: Arthur Washington.
And I dub thee--
Bruce Macintosh of San Leandro.
Bruce Macintosh...
masters of the Order of the Rose.
And all of you bear witness...
to this auspicious moment in history.
Please rise.
OFFICER: Wait till I go home and tell Bernice.
Now, Mia, I know you don't want to go...
all the way downtown, but--
That really won't be necessary.
No one got hurt, did they?
- We're insured. - OK.
Chivalry ain't dead, you know, so--
Noble Arthur, how very kind.
OFFICER: Do you need a lift home?
Oh, that would be very helpful, thank you.
Come along, Mia.
CLARISSE: Good-bye, trolley people!
MIA: Please take the car to Doctor Motors?
- Good-bye! - So long!
Good-bye!
Good-bye.
You were awesome!
You are the coolest queen ever!
All in a day's work.
Wave good-bye! That's a queen!
Would you like to slide in first?
I never slide.
Good-bye.
Thank you.
TOURISTS: Good-bye!
MAN: Hey, Bruce!
How about getting on your royal carriage...
and getting us out of here?
TOUR DRIVER: Here she is.
This is the possible new Princess of Genovia here.
That's right. Anyone know where Genovia is?
Anyone?
TOUR KID: It's a country between France and Spain.
That was a question on "Jeopardy. "
TOUR DRIVER: This is the girl that won the genetic lottery.
TOUR KID: Look! Here's the princess!
HARBULA: OK, back up. Let's go.
The princess is late for school.
TOUR KID: Could you sign my backpack?
TOUR KID: Hi, Princess.
May I have your autograph, please?
Hi. What's your name?
Lilly.
Lilly? That's my best friend's name.
Would you consider you and the princess best friends?
I would definitely say that.
We do everything together.
We shop together, get our hair done together.
We even finish Reach other's sentences.
It's very cool.
MIA: And what's your name?
Charlotte.
Charlotte? You two must be twins, huh?
CHARLOTTE: Yes.
MIA: I don't have any sisters...
but I do have a cat-- Fat Louie.
CHARLOTTE: That's a funny name!
Will you take a picture with me, Princess?
HARBULA: The princess is late for algebra.
MIA: Thank you so much.
The pack is back. Are you ready?
[ Stops playing ]
Do they see you when they look at me?
Do they see my many personalities?
Oh, no
Can you help me?
Does anybody hear me?
Can they even see me?
This is not reality
Oh
Mia.
Why can't I just reach up and simply...
Hi...hi.
Step into my office.
Why can't I flap my arms and fly and fly and fly?
Tell me why...
Hey.
Hi.
So, um...
I hope what Lana said on TV...
didn't freak you out too much.
- No. - OK, good.
Because I broke up with her because of it...
and I hate phony publicity seekers.
Anyway...
Saturday night's the big beach party.
Uh-huh.
I think it'd be cool if we went together.
See you on the waves?
OK. OK.
Bye. [ Laughs ]
P.A.: Attention.
Remember to watch Grove High School's TV cable show...
Saturday nights with your host Lilly Moscovitz.
MIA: Michael.
Princess.
You will never guess what Josh Bryant just asked me.
"Can I borrow a comb?"
No. He asked me...
to go to the Baker Beach Party with him.
That's this Saturday, right?
Yeah. So I was thinking...
I could come by the garage next week...
and listen to your band play then. All right?
Oh, yeah. That's--Yeah.
- Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.
All right. Well, I have to go...
but thank you so much. Bye!
Bye.
Too many feelings
Emotions running away with me
There's a feeling inside me
HELEN: Is Joseph driving you?
MIA: No. Joseph was nice enough...
to take the night off.
I'll take the school bus with the other kids.
I look like an asparagus.
But a very, very cute asparagus.
No, it's OK. I'll just wear my blue suit.
Are you nervous about the beach party?
No. Actually, I'm kind of excited.
I think I might get my first real kiss.
- Oh! Who from? - Josh Bryant.
That Backstreet Boy clone you've had a crush on forever?
He is not a Backstreet Boy clone.
He's a sailor.
I thought he was never nice to you.
Oh. Well...
I don't know. He is now.
I just hope that if he kisses me...
um...my foot pops.
Pops?
Yeah. You know, in old films...
whenever a girl gets seriously kissed...
her foot would just kind of...pop.
Ha ha ha! Pop!
Ha ha ha!
I'm gonna go change now.
I hope you get your first real foot-popping kiss.
We are Mark and Brian...
and welcome to the Baker Beach Bash.
MARK: Now, with one week left of school...
you're gonna be out for the summer...
and we know what's on your mind.
How are you gonna find that summer love?
And if you do, how do you know if it's true?
Here to tell us all about it, please welcome...
Lana and the Lanettes!
MARK AND BRIAN: Lana, Anna, and Fontana!
Stupid cupid, you're a real mean guy
I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly
I'm in love and it's a crying shame
And I know that you're the one to blame
ANNA AND FONTANA: Stupid cupid
Hey, hey, set me free
Stupid cupid, stop picking on me
You mixed me up but good
Right from the very start
Hey, go play Robin Hood
With somebody else's heart
You got me jumping like a crazy clown...
JOSH: Uhh!
MIA: That was so--
- Awesome, huh? - Amazing!
Ha ha! I'm glad you had fun.
I thought you'd get scared, honestly...
'cause most of the girls I take on the boat...
they freak out.
Oh, no. I wasn't scared.
Stupid cupid, stop picking on me
Stupid cupid
And now it's time for your favorite talk show host...
direct from Grove High School...
the lovely Lilly.
[ Gong ]
LILLY: It's Saturday night...
and welcome to my cable show, "Shut Up and Listen. "
Later on in my show...
I will be joined by our very own Princess Mia...
to discuss her positive opinion...
of the "Save the Sea Otter" movement.
Until she arrives...
I've asked Grove's magic master...
Jeremiah Hart...
to entertain us with some sleight of hand.
Hello, folks.
Hold me, baby, 'cause you love me
With every single touch
It's more than just a crush
Baby, you know
Reach me
Only you can see me
And what I crave so much
It's more than just a crush
It's more than just a crush
Every time we touch
GIRL: Awesome!
Hey, Princess! Give us a smile!
How did they find me here?
What?
How did they find me here?!
PHOTOGRAPHER: Hey, wave, everybody!
You're on TV!
Wait, Princess, don't be shy!
Come back!
BRIAN: Hey, chopper boy, look over here!
Royal deejays!
Josh!
Oh, no! I am so sorry about all this.
No, it's fine.
They can't get us in here.
We were having such a good time...
and then they came and ruined it.
I know, I know. Look, they can't see us...
we can't see them.
We're all alone in this little shack.
Actually, you know what?
It's kind of cozy in here...
and there's no one I'd rather be here with than you.
Really?
Yeah.
- Josh? - Mm-hmm?
This isn't romantic.
Um...it just...
No. It's my foot.
It's caught in a volleyball net.
Yeah. Here.
Ooh!
GIRL: Hey! My dad thinks I'm a princess!
GIRL: I'm a friend of Mia's!
I tell you what. While we're waiting...
how about a foot massage?
That would be so wonderful. Thank you.
No. Actually, I mean you give me one.
Oh, yeah.
And indeed, it is the queen of hearts!
LILLY: Thank you, Jeremiah...
for your potpourri of prestidigitations...
for the past hour.
Obviously, Princess Mia has a problem...
appearing here tonight...
and I'm sure she has a good excuse.
I'm Lilly Moscovitz for "Shut Up and Listen. "
Thank you and good night.
Mia...
the coast is clear.
Really?
They're gone. Yeah.
Oh, good.
So, what do you say we go find...
a more romantic spot?
OK.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Quiet! Quiet!
[ Cameras clicking ]
[ Shouting ]
JOSH: No! Stay!
[ Overlapping questions ]
Give her a smooch!
REPORTER: Come on! Give her a big, sloppy wet one!
PHOTOGRAPHER: Hold it!
Uhh!
Hit him again!
MIA: Go away! No, no, no! Go away, all of you!
The princess has left the building.
REPORTER: Who have we got?
What's your name?
NELSON: Where do you go to school?
Josh Bryant.
I go to Grove High School.
What are we, friends with Mia now?
Yes. We hate Josh.
Sorry. It's hard to keep up with who we're not talking to.
Here she comes!
ALL: Mia!
I'm really sorry. I can't talk.
I have to go get my clothes.
Well, here. We've got your clothes.
You'll be a lot warmer.
You guys want to help me?
Yeah. Josh is such an idiot.
We'll make sure no one bothers you.
Thank you. Um...
That's really nice of you.
This is so great of you.
Thank you so much.
Everything's fine.
MIA: Is anybody coming?
- No! - No!
MIA: Guys, I really appreciate this.
Thank you.
She's got her bathing suit off.
OK, now!
Princess, hi!
Aah!
REPORTER: That was the scream of Princess Mia.
Go away, all of you, please!
HARBULA: OK. Come here, Mia.
Piranhas, all of you! Back off!
HELEN: My mom always told me I couldn't cry...
and told me to be a big girl...
but you've been hurt, so you just cry.
[ Crying ]
It was really bad.
My foot didn't even pop.
SUKI: It was just last night...
that San Francisco's own little princess...
partied at the beach...
but what started out as innocent fun...
soon turned into allegedly too much fun.
This is Suki Sanchez for KPFW.
Please say something.
CLARISSE: Well, there's not much to say.
A picture's worth a thousand words...
and you have two pictures.
I embarrassed the family, didn't I?
Not to put too fine a point on it, yes, you did.
I think you're making a wise decision...
to abstain from the job.
I suppose I won't come to the ball.
CLARISSE: Of course you should come.
You're still family.
Just because you don't want to be our princess...
doesn't mean we're sending you into exile.
Your mother's planning to come.
All your guests are invited.
Except for your beach friends.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
I'm meeting with the press to do some damage control.
You can come in now.
If I may say so...
that did not go very well.
Is this the way a princess should act?
My information tells me that boy was using her.
The kiss was merely a device...
so that he could get his 15 minutes of fame.
And her friends didn't help, either.
Anna, Falana, Banana, Bandana, Montana...
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Why didn't she have enough common sense...
to deal with this?
She's only 15...
but today, she acted beyond her years.
She showed great respect...
and gracefully accepted your criticism.
You're saying that as a queen, I was too harsh on her.
I was critical of the person...
who could become the next ruler of my country.
No. I'm saying, as a grandmother...
you might have been too harsh on your granddaughter.
[ Sighs ]
Do you think she can do it?
Oh, I have no doubts, ma'am.
I thought so, too.
What makes you different
Makes you beautiful
What's there inside you
Shines through to me
In your eyes I see
All the love I'll ever need
BOY: Hey, it's Mia Thermopolips.
Can you autograph your picture? Josh did.
Hey, there's Princess Pucker-up.
[ Bell rings ]
What makes you different makes you beautiful
What's there inside you
Shines through to me
In your eyes I see
All the love I'll ever need
Lilly?
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute, please?
Lilly, can I just talk to you for a minute?
- Is that cool? - Sure. Let's talk.
But about what, hmm?
How you broke my brother's heart...
or how you stuck me with Jeremiah...
during my cable show doing...
"Pick a card, pick a card." Mwah mwah mwah!
I'm sorry, OK?
I forgot to call you and tell you...
that I couldn't make it.
So I was stuck with the Happy Houdini...
while you make out with the Yachting Yahoo.
Those are really good alliterations.
No! I don't want to talk about alliterations!
Lilly, I came up here to tell you that I'm sorry!
I'm sorry I missed your cable show...
and I'm just really sorry.
LILLY: I can't believe that you hung me up...
after all I did for you.
I kept your royal secret.
And do you know how hard it is...
to have a cable show and keep a secret?
You didn't keep it a secret from me...
how jerky you thought my being a princess was.
Well, congratulations. You got your wish.
I'm not gonna be a princess.
You're not?
No.
But I want you to be.
What?
[ Sighs ]
I didn't mean it.
The green monster of jealousy came out...
because you were Miss Popular...
and I thought I was losing my best friend...
so I got angry and upset and hurt and...
I told you!
I need an attitude adjustment.
But the truth is...
you being a princess is kind of a miracle.
Whoa! No!
What miracle?
It's a nightmare!
No! Think about it!
I just found out that my cable show...
only reaches 12 people.
Wanting to rock the world, but having zip power like me--
now, that's a nightmare.
But you--Wow!
I mean...
MIA: What is so "Wow"?
Wow is having the power to affect change...
make people listen.
How many teenagers have that power?
What more of a miracle do you want?
Well...
we'll just have to find a different miracle.
Not more, just different.
Listen...
tomorrow night...
is the Genovian Independence Day ball...
and to make up for my missing your cable show...
I'm inviting you.
I hope you'll forgive me...
and I hope you come.
LILLY: But what will I wear?
MIA: [ Squeals ] Mmm! Yay!
I don't know, but it doesn't really matter.
I'm just happy that you're gonna come!
LILLY: Thanks. And you can be a princess.
- No, I can't. - Yes, you can.
- Yes, you can. - No, I can't.
Let's move it in. Move in! Let's go!
HARBULA: Bobby Bad, hang up the phone!
Yes, Mom. I'll go to the dentist after school.
I hate it when they move in like that.
Mia, it's not a championship game.
It's not even a big game. It's just gym class.
Just hit the ball.
I don't want to flunk you in gym class.
Come on. You can do it.
Keep your eye on the ball.
CHEERLEADERS: That's all right! That's OK!
You're gonna hit it anyway!
Go, Lions!
[ Cheerleaders shrieking ]
Come on, girls. It's a ball, not a snake.
Back in formation!
I'm sorry.
Foul ball. It's all right.
You got a piece of it. It's OK.
Just focus.
Ha ha ha!
HARBULA: Focus.
Focus.
That's all right! That's OK!
Come on, Mia. Remember, it's only a game!
HARBULA: Keep your eye on the ball.
Go, Lions!
CHEERLEADERS: Grr-eat!
Let's go! Let's go!
BOBBY BAD: Would you rather hit a beach ball?
Order me a pizza, huh? Pepperoni.
Uhh!
Oh! Oh! [ Girls screaming ]
- Run, Mia! - All right! Go! Go!
I gotta go. Get up!
What are you doing? Get up!
HARBULA: All the way, Mia!
Hi, Josh.
Come on, girl!
HARBULA: All the way, Mia! Come on!
Safe! And you passed.
Whoo! Mia!
HARBULA: Nice job, Mia. Way to go!
[ Bell rings ]
Oh! Uh...it's open.
Come on in.
Michael! Hi.
How are you?
- What? - Little guy on your--
romanize Korean
2002/1/29 edited by schoolboy
[ Sirens ]
HELEN: Time for school!
HELEN: Stop daydreaming. You'll be late for school.
Sometimes I have dreams
MIA: Hey, Louie. Come on.
I picture myself flying
It's time to go to school.
Through the clouds
High in the sky
Conquering the world
With my magic piano
Never being scared
But then I realize
I'm Supergirl
And I'm here to save the world
But I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
HELEN: Are you feeling confident?
MIA: Not really.
Now just remember, when you make your speech...
don't look at the people.
Pick a spot on the back wall...
don't take your eyes off of it...
and speak loudly.
Thanks, Mom.
Bye, Mom.
Good luck.
Ooh ooh
Ooh
Morning, Buttons.
[ Barking ]
MAN: Be nice, Buttons.
MIA: Whoa. Whoa!
Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.
Have a nice day.
ROBUTUSEN: I doubt it.
Whoo!
I'm Supergirl
[ Sirens ]
I'm Supergirl
What I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
CHEERLEADERS: Hey, there, ho there
How do you do?
This is Grove Lions saying hi to you.
- I'm Lana... - Anna...
Fontana.
CHEERLEADERS: Go Lions!
BOY: Josh!
I'm Supergirl
- Josh! - What are you doing?
Oh, he's such a show-off.
Jeremiah, off the wall, please.
Come on. You know better than that.
MIA: Good morning, Miss Gupta.
Morning, Lilly...
Lilly's friend.
I'm Supergirl
Who's gonna save me?
You know, as manager of the team...
I really think you should be a part of the team.
Oh, oh! Oops.
I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
I was thinking...
Somebody sat on me again.
- Really? - Yeah.
MIA: I don't know what happened.
I was just sitting there, working on my speech...
It's really a dumb class--
LILLY: Jerk and jerkette sighting.
MIA: Hmm?
Soft kisses on a summer's day
Laughing all our cares away
And dream of--
- What? - What?
You never saw two idiots exchange saliva before?
Oh. Yeah.
They're so rude.
Good. You know, for a second there...
I thought you were going A-crowd on me.
MIA: Oh, heh. Negative.
LILLY: Ready for debate?
MIA: I'm never ready for debate.
[ Cheering ] BOY: Go, Josh!
JOSH: So this is not a debate.
This is a control issue.
Grove controls our minds with what they teach us...
but you know what?
They're not satisfied with that.
I think Grove should dump the uniforms...
and we have casual dress all year round!
[ Cheering ]
MR. O'CONNELL: All right, all right.
OK, girls, settle down. Settle down.
This is a debate, and after it's over...
I want you back in your school uniform.
JOSH: Hey, boss, whatever you say.
Josh, sit down.
- He's the man. - He's my man.
O'CONNELL: OK, Josh. Later, OK?
Down, down, boy. You made your point.
OK, so, now we've all heard...
from Josh Bryant for the affirmative.
[ Velcro rips ]
I love that sound.
What's my point again?
You like our uniforms. They're equalizers.
O'CONNELL: Now we'll hear the rebuttal...
from Mia Thermopolis...
who will present the negative argument...
against our proposition.
[ Scattered applause ]
GIRL: Come on, Mia!
BOY: Whoo-hoo!
Um...I th-think...um...
FONTANA: What a frizz-ball.
ANNA: Look at her hair.
O'CONNELL: Shh!
Um...
BOY: We're waiting.
SECOND BOY: Say something!
You see, um...I...
See, casual-- casual...uh...
[ Breathing heavily ]
GIRL: Are you OK?
ANNA: She's gonna barf.
SECOND GIRL: Oh, God! She's gonna hurl!
THIRD GIRL: Cover the tuba!
O'CONNELL: OK, OK. Everybody settle down.
Learn how to fly
Gotta move on
From what's breaking your heart...
MANAGER: Mia! Finish up with Mrs. Taubman...
and then you can take a break.
Another huge tip from Mrs. Hersh.
I got one from Mrs. Taubman. We're doing all right today.
Mr. Walsh's ropes are twisted.
VIVIAN: Mr. Walsh, stop twisting!
You'll strangle yourself!
Hi, Mom.
You threw up, huh?
And you ran away.
MIA: I'm trying to forget about it.
Can I have some shoes and chalk, please?
Anyway, I'll go talk to your debate teacher--
- What's his name? - Mr. O'Connell.
And straighten it all out.
Mom, I am never going to be a good public speaker.
Just call him and tell him I want to be a mime.
- I can do that. - Here you go.
Oh, your grandmother called.
What?
The live one.
Who lives in Genovia. Clarisse.
Oh. Wow.
This is the first time she's ever contacted us.
What'd she want?
She's in town.
She wants to have tea.
Tea? She came all the way from Europe to have tea?
[ Telephone rings ]
I think I'm gonna climb a little bit.
MANAGER: Rocks Around the Clock
MIA: Isn't this the grandmother who made you get a divorce?
Well, she didn't approve of me...
but Phillipe and I made the decision...
to divorce on our own.
Why should I go see this snobby lady who ignores us?
Mia, she's your father's mother.
Just go see her tomorrow.
- Please? - Tension.
She said your father hoped...
that you two would meet someday.
[ Sighs ] All right, I'll go.
[ Playing rock and roll music ]
BOY: Whoo!
All right, I win.
Band practice is over.
I have a music class here. Out!
Let's have the third group try "Catch a Falling."
Charles, you want to be in the front?
- Thanks. - No problem.
Michael.
Are you sure you can't help me...
with my Spotted Owl petition today?
I'm meeting my grandmother after school.
[ Piano playing ] Oh, right.
Catch a falling star
And put it in your pocket
Never let it fade away
Catch a falling star
And put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day
For love may come and
Tap you on the shoulder
Some starless night
SPEAKER: School tours are on Saturday, young lady.
I'm here for a meeting with my grandmother.
Name?
Clarisse Renaldi.
Oh. Please come to the front door.
Thank you very much.
SPEAKER: Get off the grass!
[ Message repeated in other languages ]
Welcome, Miss Thermopolis.
We've been expecting you.
MIA: Oh, be careful.
Please don't crush my soy nuts.
Your soy nuts are safe.
OK.
Right this way.
Please, make yourself comfortable.
WOMAN: ...for their daughter Marissa.
She's allergic to peanuts.
And we need new pillows for the prime minister's wife.
She's allergic to goose feathers.
Hello, Amelia.
I'm Charlotte, from the Genovian attache corps.
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
Um, where am I?
CHARLOTTE: The Genovian Consulate.
MIA: You've got pears in your flowers.
Genovian pears. We're famous for them.
Now, if you'll sit down...
she'll be with you in a moment.
No, I don't need a moment. I'm here.
Amelia, I'm so glad you could come.
MIA: Hi. You've got a great place.
Thank you.
Well, let me look at you.
You look so...young.
Thank you.
And you look so...
clean.
Charlotte, would you check on tea in the garden?
Please, sit.
So, my mom said you wanted...
to talk to me about something. Shoot.
Oh, before I "shoot"...
I have something I want to give you.
Here.
Oh, um, thank you.
Wow.
CLARISSE: It's the Genovian crest.
It was mine when I was young.
And that was my great-grandmother's.
Heh. I'll keep this safe.
I will take good care of it.
Now, what did you want to tell me?
CLARISSE: Something that I think will have...
a very big impact upon your life.
I already had braces.
No, it's bigger than orthodontia.
The tea is served, ma'am.
Amelia, have you ever heard...
of Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gerard Renaldi?
No.
He was the crown prince of Genovia.
Hmm.
What about him?
Eduard Christoff Phillipe Gerard Renaldi...
was your father.
[ Snorts ] Yeah, sure.
My father was the prince of Genovia.
Uh-huh. You're joking.
Why would I joke about something like that?
No! Because if he's really a prince, then I--
Exactly.
You're not just Amelia Thermopolis.
You are Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi...
Princess of Genovia.
Me? A princess?
Shut up!
I beg your pardon? Shut up?
Your Majesty, in America...
it doesn't always mean "Be quiet."
Here it could mean, "Wow," "Gee whiz," "Golly"--
Oh, I understand. Thank you.
Nevertheless, you are the princess.
And I am Queen Clarisse Renaldi.
Why would you pick me to be your princess?
Since your father died, you are the natural heir...
to the throne of Genovia. That's our law.
I'm royal by marriage.
You are royal by blood.
You can rule.
Rule? Oh, no.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Now you have really got the wrong girl.
I never lead anybody--
not at Brownies, not at Camp Fire Girls--
Queen Clarisse, my expectation in life...
is to be invisible, and I'm good at it.
Amelia, I had other expectations also.
In my wildest dreams...
I never expected this to happen.
But you are the legal heir--
the only heir-- to the Genovian throne...
and we will accept the challenge...
of helping you become the princess that you are.
Oh, I can give you books.
You will study languages, history, art, political science.
I can teach you to walk, talk, sit, stand...
eat, dress like a princess.
And, given time, I think you'll find...
the palace in Genovia a very pleasant place to live.
- Live in Genovia? - It's a wonderful country.
Whoa, whoa. Just--
Rewind and freeze.
I'm no princess.
I'm still waiting for normal body parts to arrive.
I refuse to move to and rule a country...
and--Do you want another reason?
I don't want to be a princess!
Oh, Amelia...Amelia!
Amelia, come back here!
CLARISSE: Ohh!
[ Sighs ]
Well, that went well, didn't it?
- Perhaps she needs more time. - Will you help me?
Miss Thermopolis?
I'm the head of your security...
and you want me to be a chauffeur and baby-sitter.
For the time being. The child needs protection.
MIA: For 15 years...
you couldn't find a spare minute...
to tell me that my father is a royal?
I thought I was doing the right thing.
The right thing for who, Mom?
For all of us.
I mean, if we secretly divorced...
he would be able to find a woman...
who would stay by his side and produce heirs...
and I would be free to live my life with you.
I mean, please! We met in college!
I was young! I wanted to paint.
Can you see me walking one step behind someone...
for the rest of my life?
With rules and regulations...
and the waving and the bowing and the scraping?
I was scared!
MIA: Living with a mother...
who lied to me for 15 years scares me.
Where are you going?
To straighten up the royal bed chamber.
HELEN: After the divorce, we all discussed it.
Your father and your grandmother...
both agreed to keep that distance...
so you would have a chance of a normal childhood...
free of emotional complications.
We were going to tell you when you were 18 years old...
but when your father died, things changed, Mia.
We wanted to protect you.
You know what?
I don't feel protected.
You try living for 15 years...
thinking that you're one person...
and then in five minutes you find out...
that you're a princess.
Just in case...
I'm not enough of a freak already...
let's add a tiara!
[ Sighs ]
Well, drink your soup.
I'm not really hungry.
Fine.
Good night, sweetheart.
Fat Louie...
[ Purring ]
You are so lucky...
you don't know who your parents are.
[ Meow ]
I've never ridden in a limo...
he admitted bitterly to himself...
as he crossed to the open window...
and looked out at the bay, the fog looming...
like his pathetic life before him.
I can't believe I won an Emmy.
I have this favorite photo of Phillipe.
We had so much fun when we were in college.
He was so full of joie de vivre...
always laughing and smiling.
CLARISSE: I remember.
Helen, if Amelia refuses to accept the throne...
then Genovia will cease to exist as we know it.
So the future of your country...
is in the hands of my 15-year-old?
Here it is.
Oh.
CLARISSE: Phillipe was ready to be king.
Then the terrible accident.
Even though it didn't work out between us...
I loved your son very much.
Thank you.
Well, as always...
this is as good as it's gonna get.
Hmm.
I can't wait until she's 18.
[ Mia sighs ]
Oh, this is a nightmare.
I'm going back to bed.
Mia, the three of us have to talk.
Oh, OK. Is there something else...
about me and my life I might want to know about?
Are you two waiting to take me on a talk show...
to tell me I have a twin sister who's a duchess?
You have a cousin who's a contessa.
Fondly known as Bartholomew.
Actually, we call him Pookie.
Yesterday did not go well.
Will you just listen to your grandmother?
Amelia, in a matter of weeks...
we have an annual ball.
I was--I am hoping that I may present you...
to the press and the public on that occasion.
However, you desperately need some instruction.
I speak for the entire Genovian parliament...
and the royal family.
And I speak for this family.
Excuse me...
I don't have a family with either one of you...
because you ignored me for 15 years...
and you lied to me.
Families don't do stuff like that, OK?
[ Footsteps going upstairs ]
Where is she going?
The tower.
Mia, you can't run from everything!
She has a tower?
HELEN: Please? Just come down from there.
MIA: Most kids hope for a car...
for their 16th birthday, not a country!
Just make yourself comfortable.
[ Fat Louie hisses ]
HELEN: This is getting us nowhere!
Talk to me.
I can't talk to you right now.
I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.
I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal.
HELEN: I have a thought.
Mia promises to attend princess lessons...
until your ball.
Well, it's not my ball.
It's Genovia's annual Independence Day ball.
I'm sorry.
Mia promises neither to accept nor reject...
your offer to be royal until this grand ball...
and then she makes her decision.
Now, can you both live with that?
It seems I have no option.
[ Sighs ] If I have to.
But I want not one word of this until that evening.
Is that understood?
Duh.
CLARISSE: The press would have a field day.
Well. Let's not keep Spain and Portugal waiting.
[ Car horn honks ]
I'll be 16 this year...
and my mom traded two paintings for a 1966 Mustang.
You do know what a Mustang is, right?
I raise mustangs.
That is not a sensible car for a princess.
It isn't sensible for anyone. It doesn't run.
I suppose I could donate something to this vehicle.
MIA: Good morning, Mr. Robutusen.
CLARISSE: Who is this gentleman?
MIA: Oh, he's my neighbor...
but you wouldn't want to meet him.
He doesn't have very nice manners.
Good morning.
There's someone I want you to meet.
OK. Whoa.
You have two limousines?
One is yours.
You raise limousines, too?
No. Amelia, this is Joseph.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
The elegant European woman didn't stay for tea...
Thanks.
But the promise of tomorrow hung in the air.
[ Car door shuts ]
MIA: Ooh!
Uh, Princess?
Princess, may I point out...
that no matter how many times you push it...
it will go up and down the same way.
MIA: Joseph, can we eighty-six the flags? Please?
No.
The flags allow me to park anywhere.
We keep the flags.
Sorry, Joseph.
You can call me Joe.
Joey?
Heh heh heh heh.
No. Joe.
Did I miss something?
Are we going to a wedding?
Uh, no. School.
No, this is the surprise ride.
[ Speaking foreign language ]
MIA: This is Joe.
Joe, Lilly. Lilly, Joe.
LILLY: Hi, it's nice to meet you.
You know you look like Shaft?
Yes. Excuse me.
- You want a ride, right? - Yeah, totally.
Hey, I got it.
Of course.
- OK. - Oh, my word!
JOE: Please fasten your seat belts, ladies.
LILLY: Is your mother dating an undertaker?
Uh, no.
This long-lost grandmother showed up...
and she wants me to use it.
- And? - I--I don't know.
I guess she's just trying to be nice...
to get me to like her.
LILLY: Oh.
MIA: Hey, Joe?
Can you please park a block away from school?
I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.
This is a non-riot hearse.
And if it were a hearse...
there would be silence in the back seat.
[ Girls laughing ]
CHEERLEADERS: Hey there, ho there
How do you do?
This is Grove Lions saying hi to you.
Go Lions! Roror!
P.A.: This is a reminder.
Virtual homework may not be submitted...
for actual credit.
FONTANA: Tell me, Mia.
Is it true about your speech?
Are you really speaking at the Bulimic Convention?
So you can speak and barf at the same time?
[ Vomiting sounds ]
[ Vomiting sounds ]
MS. HARBULA: Good.
Good glove, Michael. Way to go.
I'll let this one go, Mia. Try catching.
Are you sure?
It's slow-pitch. Don't worry about it.
MIA: Oh.
Now get it and throw it back to the pitcher.
- OK. - Come on.
[ Crowd gasps ]
- I am so sorry. - Mm.
- I'm really-- - Mm.
- I didn't mean to-- - Mm.
- Can I help you? - Ice. Get me ice.
[ Trolley bell dings ]
LILLY: I'm on the verge of becoming a nutcase...
and my parents think I need an attitude adjustment.
MIA: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
LILLY: Sorry. Yeah, so my dad wants...
to take me to dinner tonight, just the two of us.
We ran out of things to talk about when I was 8.
MIA: At least your dad's still alive.
LILLY: Hey.
I thought you'd gotten over that.
It's been two months.
MIA: I know, I know.
But, after all, he was my dad.
Biologically, yes, but you never met the man.
Just a nice card and gift on your birthday for 15 years?
Be fair. They were beautiful presents.
Remember that Faberge merry-go-round he sent me?
That was nice.
And he paid for my school tuition.
- I guess so. - Lilly, I gotta run.
I gotta see your brother about my baby.
LILLY: OK, but let's take the limo tomorrow.
These hills are killing me.
MIA: You got it.
[ Rock music playing ]
[ Telephone rings ]
[ Rings ]
He fixes cars, he plays guitar...
and he can sing.
- He is so hot! - He is wicked sweet.
DOC: Hello. Talk loud, I got a band rehearsing.
MICHAEL: You've been listening to the sounds of Flypaper.
We're flying away now.
DOC: All right, stop yelling. They're finished.
Hey, that's-- It's sounding really good.
You know, Ned is really wailing.
Hello, Mia.
Hey, Doc.
So, what's the diagnosis for my baby?
Four hundred dollars.
[ Horn honks ]
DOC: Yeah, I know. It costs to be cool, huh?
MIA: This is not my day.
I'll do some labor free.
MIA: Thanks, but I'll talk to my grandma about it.
It'll be great.
I'll see you guys later. I gotta be somewhere.
Ooh. "I'll do some labor free."
Heh. You sweet on her?
She's my sister's best friend!
Yeah, that's the hardest place to be.
Between friend and friendlier, huh?
[ Laughs ]
I'm trying to find a way
I'm trying to find a ride...
Your Majesty, the diplomatic pouch has arrived...
and she's here.
CLARISSE: Send her in.
CHARLOTTE: Yes, ma'am.
CHARLOTTE: I need more roses--
red, white, mauve. Mauve!
- Miss Amelia, welcome. - Hi.
Straight ahead to your left.
Her Majesty is ready for you in the library.
CLARISSE: Charlotte, take notes, will you?
Amelia, circle slowly...
so I can evaluate the work to be done.
Amelia!
Does your bad posture affect your hearing?
- Turn. - Oh, sorry.
No, no, no. Slowly, turn.
Slowly. Thank you.
Well, carriage, obviously. Hairstyle.
Complexion...
Stop!
Eyes...lovely...
but hidden beneath bushman eyebrows.
The neck is seemly.
Ears...
like her father.
Really? They are?
Oh, my! Who has nails like these?
Everybody.
Tomorrow I would like to see clean fingers.
And you will wear stockings.
Not tights, not socks.
And I never want to see those shoes again.
When walking in a crowd...
one is under scrutiny all the time.
So we don't slump, like this.
We drop the shoulders...
we think tall...
we tuck under and transfer the weight...
from one foot to--
No. Princesses never cross their legs in public.
Why don't you just tuck one ankle behind the other...
and place the hands gracefully on the knees.
Aah!
Charlotte, I think it's time for tea.
MIA: Tell me, how does my mother--
or, really, any person, for that matter--
go into a parent-teacher conference...
and come out with a date?
Mia, Mr. O'Connell is not married...
he's not living with anyone...
plus he's not pierced, tattooed, or hair-plugged.
Do you realize how rare that is south of Market Street?
Did it ever occur to you...
that if you dated one of my teachers...
it would give the other kids...
license to mock me for the rest of my life?
No, you're right. I didn't, and I'm sorry.
[ Sighs ]
It's just that Patrick--
Mr. O'Connell-- is such a nice man.
He's a real gentleman...
and I haven't met one of those in a long, long time.
OK. It's--it's fine.
I just can't do anything right anymore, can I?
[ Meow ]
BOYS: Come on! Go for it!
- Come on, get her! - In your face!
Aah, aah, aah!
HARBULA: Come on, come on!
Just block one, Mia!
I can't do this. I'm a girl.
What am I, a duck?
No! I mean... You're an athletic girl.
I am a synchronized swimming, yoga-doing...
horseback-riding, wall-climbing-type girl.
My hand-eye coordination is zero.
All right, you can go again later.
Josh! Get in here.
Yeah, I'm in.
So, I was watching you earlier...
and you're way tense.
You know what I'm saying?
Soft kisses on a summer's day...
You gotta think like the ball. Be the ball.
You gotta stop it, know what I mean?
- Heh? - Heh.
Bring it on.
- Hey, Joe? - Mm-hmm?
I'm turning the back seat into a dressing room...
so I can change into a proper outfit for madame.
Yes, well, don't forget your shoes.
Oh, thanks.
Strange town, San Francisco.
When I purchased the pumps...
they asked if I wanted them wrapped...
or if I wanted to wear them.
All right, closing.
Ah ah bop bop ba dop
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
Going up.
Oh little bitty pretty one
Come on and talk to me
Aah!
Let me grab you lovely one
You all right?
Yeah--oh--I'm fine.
- Going down. - Whoo!
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
Oh oh bop bop ba dop
I've never put on pantyhose, but it sounds dangerous.
MIA: Grandma? Is it customary in Genovia...
to imprison your dinner guests with Hermeez scarves?
CLARISSE: It's Hermes.
The scarf is merely a training tool.
Eventually you will learn to sit...
and eat properly without it.
Manners matter.
But enough etiquette for the day.
Now, Genovia does a lot of trade with Spain...
so we prepare for that.
The quickest way to a Spanish heart is dance.
Shall we?
Now tell me, what kind of dancing do you do?
Dancing? Just the normal kind.
You know, like...
Bom chicka bom bom
Bom tss um bom
JOE: I see.
JOE: We have a Genovian alternative.
[ Dance music playing ]
Now, the dances here are very sedate...
right from the hips. In place.
No bobbing of the head, please.
It's not a doggy on a dashboard.
JOE: Straight up.
Let's practice this here.
Now, this dance is...
between a waltz and a tango, you see?
MIA: It's a wango?
JOE: No.
All right, here we go. Spin out...
and spin into me. Spin into--Uhh!
- [ Gasps ] - OK.
I--No, no, no, no.
JOE: Try again. One more spin.
Very quickly, now pull away.
That's it. Good.
Good attitude. Spin in.
- Good. - I did it?
Grandma, I spun without hurting anyone!
That's very good news.
Spin, spin, spin. Yes, done.
Better. It's coming along.
Now you may go home.
Thank you! See you tomorrow!
Thank you, Joseph.
[ Dance music playing ]
You've been wearing black too long.
P.A.: This is Coach Harbula.
You can sign up now for the Baker Beach Party.
MIA: Oh! Sorry. Sorry.
JOSH: Hey, Bobby Bad!
Sorry.
LILLY: Mia! Are you ready?
Oh, hey. I'm really sorry...
but I can't do it today. I've got a Grandma thing.
I'll call you. Bye.
What? Has your grandma turned into the big bad wolf?
JEREMIAH: Shazam.
Cute, Jeremiah, but a way to a girl's heart...
is not by treating her like a vending machine.
SPEAKER: Get off the grass!
[ Message repeats in several languages ]
Hi, Adolpho! I'm late!
She's late.
- You're late. - I know.
I'm really sorry about it--
- And where is Paolo? - Send in Paolo.
CLARISSE: Ah! Always prompt.
[ Italian accent ] Regina Mia. Buon giorno.
My assistant, Gretchen and Helga.
CLARISSE: Good afternoon.
We're so pleased you could make yourself available.
Your Majesty.
We won't waste time. Let the work begin.
PAOLO: Ah. Of course.
Where is the beautiful girl?
My granddaughter Amelia.
Aah!
She is gorgeous. Let us take a closer look.
Paolo, we have a limited number of days...
before the state dinner.
Frizzy, busy, dizzy.
In the best sense.
Oh, I would like it if your ladies...
would also sign our confidentiality agreement.
Majesty, they know what is a secret, eh?
[ Speaking foreign language ]
CHARLOTTE: Excuse me, Your Majesty.
The Genovian press secretary's waiting for your call.
Oh, yes, of course.
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave...
and come back and be surprised.
[ Claps hands ]
Charlotte, watch him like a hawk.
PAOLO: Buerste, Helga!
Danke.
So we begin, Principessa, eh?
In Paolo's hands, remember...
you will be beautiful.
You have thick hair.
Heh heh heh.
Like a wolf.
Ow!
Is all right. Heh heh heh.
Do you wear contact lenses?
Well, I have them...
but I don't really like to wear them that much.
Now you do.
You broke my glasses!
You broke my brush.
PAOLO: Gretchen! Helga! Attack!
PAOLO: I love your eyebrows.
We'll call them "Frida" and "Kahlo. "
If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx...
that child would have your eyebrows.
Do you want to know a big secret?
- Tell me. - The cucumber does nothing.
Heh heh heh. This is something we make up.
Majesty, Paolo is exhausted...
because, Majesty, only Paolo can take this...
and this... and give you...
BOTH: A princess.
Better. Much better.
Mille grazie.
Why don't we go and have a wonderful cup of tea?
Si.
CLARISSE: Come, Mia.
[ Playing harmonica ]
Lilly, the car's here!
LILLY: I'm coming!
[ Plays ]
Thanks for the ride. Thank you.
Hey.
What?
Michael, don't always think you can get a ride with us.
Oy.
LILLY: Who destroyed you?
Oh. You think it looks that bad?
You look ridiculous. You should sue.
Well, um... [ Laughs ]
I know it's a little straighter and shorter--
Weirder!
An attractive weirder.
LILLY: No. It's not attractive.
Seat belts, please.
LILLY: What I really can't understand...
you ditched me again yesterday...
when I needed your help on the Greenpeace petition.
This bag! You have one of these bags?
You know we could hock that...
and feed a whole Third World country?
Am I right?
No.
If there are no more passengers...
I think we should close the door.
LILLY: You used to care more about...
what was inside your head instead of on it.
Come on, Mia. Fess up.
I don't know where you are these days...
and now you're turning into an A-crowd wanna be?
You're morphing into one of them!
And who knows, next week...
you could be waving pom-poms in my face.
You sold out!
Was my rear-view mirror fogging up...
or was someone tearing back there?
I'm fine.
Very well. Then I'll go meet your grandmother.
But you should know that...
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt said that.
Yes. Another special lady like yourself.
I'll be back at 3:00.
Thank you.
She has a hat.
Do you really think wearing that hat...
will keep people from seeing your new Lana-do?
Just because the student population...
might be morally bankrupt doesn't mean they're blind.
Lilly! Just stop it, OK?
Just because your hair sucks, get off mine!
MICHAEL: Ouch. Thank you.
Michael, can you please pretend you have a life...
for just one moment?
Hey, relax. Breathe.
Hee. Hoo. Hee.
[ Playing harmonica ]
What did you just say to me?
You heard me.
I am so sick...
of you ragging on me all the time...
and always telling me what to do.
I get enough of that from my mother...
and now my grandmother, and I don't need it from you!
I'm not an idiot...
so I know something's going on you're not telling me!
Friends tell, so you know what?
Here is your friendship charm.
I'm taking it off and it's going in the dirt!
Don't do that, OK? Just--Ugh!
All right, just wait.
Why?
I will tell you the truth...
but you're gonna think it's really stupid...
and you're gonna freak.
Try me.
[ Buzzing ]
[ Gasps ] Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Is that all you can say?
I'm sorry I was harsh...
and I don't know what else there is to say.
Will you come on my cable show?
No, I can't. This is a royal secret.
You can't tell anyone. Not even Michael.
Especially not Michael. You are sworn to secrecy.
- Of course. - Secret handshake.
[ Spitting ]
MIA: We might have to think of a new secret handshake.
LILLY: Are you really sure you can run a country?
You can barely keep your goldfish alive...
for more than a couple of days.
Lilly, I'm really sure of anything right now.
Listen, there are pros and cons to being a princess.
Shh! Don't say that word. People can hear.
Class has begun!
Class has begun and I have a little surprise for you.
Pop quiz. French Revolution.
Mr. O'Connell, there's a school rule...
that says nobody's allowed to wear hats in class.
And I don't think anybody should be...
an exception to that rule, do you?
O'CONNELL: No, Lana.
Mia, I'm sorry, but hats are against the dress code.
Mia?
[ Class reacts ]
Mamma Mia.
LANA: Look who's trying to fit in now.
ANNA: It's a wig, right?
MELISSA: I think it looks really sweet, Mia.
ANNA: Looks like she got a head transplant.
Well, I think it rocks. And you know what?
Voltaire. Hair.
I would personally like to learn about Voltaire.
OK, Lilly, OK.
Everybody settle down now.
Quiz time, OK?
CLARISSE: Lovely. But now we need fountains...
lights in the trees.
The Japanese Embassy has a waterfall.
Why can't we have fountains?
We have a fountain up there, ma'am.
Well, I would like at least two in here.
Charlotte, just make me an Eden.
Yes, ma'am.
- Amelia? Let's continue. - Hmm?
CLARISSE: In your spare time, I would like you to read these.
"What's in a name?
"That which we call a rose by any other word...
"would smell as sweet."
And so you wave to them...
and acknowledge them gracefully.
Hello.
No. Not quite so big, because, of course...
it's very, very exhausting after a while.
Very funny, dear. Try it properly.
Waving-- even more gently--
You say, "Thank you for being here today."
- Thank you. - For being here.
JOE: I'm sorry, ma'am.
I must pick up the prime minister.
Excuse me.
BOTH: Well, thank you for being here today.
MIA: So this is considered art?
HELEN: My parents did this in the Sixties.
Yes! They had an exhibition at Woodstock.
And I guess you're trying to bring it back?
HELEN: Well, this beats homework.
Yeah. Some moms help their kids with homework...
we do this.
Oh, nice shot!
Oh, yes, I like it.
Bull's-eye!
[ Laughing ]
- Yeah! - I did it!
I love life, life loves me
Everything in the world
This is more fun than princess lessons.
[ Dripping ]
MICHAEL: What are you doing this Saturday night?
Are you guys playing?
We're rehearsing some new things.
We got two new songs.
Oh, yeah?
Plus, surprise, we got the new parts for your 'Stang.
Oh, yay.
We could put it together together.
OK. Is this like a date?
- No. - [ Giggles ]
Music, cars.
- Would it include pizza? - Pizza's a given.
MIA: With M&Ms?
Wait up! Wait for me!
Not you! I don't even know you!
- Well, then, I am in. - Great!
LILLY: Hi! Whoo-hoo!
Saturday, it's on?
Yeah. Great. Hey, Lil.
- Hi. - What's up?
- What's happening? - I don't know.
[ Loud chatter ]
MIA: What's going on?
- Maybe it's a protest. - Maybe.
Excuse me. Hi. Who are you waiting for?
LANA: There she is right there! Mia Thermopolis!
We're waiting for you.
Right here, Princess! Talk to me!
MIA: Lilly, did you tell?
I didn't say anything!
Princess Mia! Who's your favorite actor?
Why are they calling her "Princess"?
WOMAN: Princess Mia, what do you do about pimples?
Come on. Let's just go, please!
MAN: Can we quote you, Your Majesty?
Come on, Mia. Let's get inside.
LANA: Oh, Mia! Ohh!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Excuse me, Mister? Hi!
The phone's ringing off the hook.
What?!
Oh!
O'CONNELL: Mia, your mother's on her way.
[ Telephone rings ]
Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
The queen is coming to Grove High School.
SUKI: A limo with flags!
MALE REPORTER: A Genovian limousine has arrived.
The queen is getting out.
SUKI: Your Majesty, why all the secrets?
All we keep hearing is "No comment."
Do you have a comment?
Your Majesty--
Will you be visiting the White House?
Are you taking the princess home?
MIA: Mom, I don't know who told on me.
HELEN: We'll get to the bottom of this.
Here's your tea, Your Majesty.
I'm sorry we don't have finer china.
That's perfectly all right.
Here.
Joseph?
- Speak. - Paolo?
Majesty, it was I who told the press about you.
I outed you. So to speak. I don't mean to imply--
- Grazie. - Prego.
But not for money, Principessa.
Paolo hates money. He spits on money.
There was no money. Well, some money.
After all, a man like me, each ring is--
The point is, it was pride and ego...
who drove me to know that royalty would see one day...
the beauty was mine! The hair was mine!
That I, Paolo Puttanesca, was responsible for--
- Grazie. - Prego.
[ Speaking Italian ]
By the way, your hair--magnificent.
The next time, we go a little lighter?
MAN: Your Highness, would you like to say anything?
GUPTA: Isn't that just awful?
Doesn't anyone respect royalty anymore?
What is it like in Genovia, Your Majesty?
Do people just fawn over you?
I wonder, would you give us a moment alone?
GUPTA: I'm the vice-principal.
Joseph, would you take this fine educator...
and show her your security plans for Amelia's safety?
What?
Ah, yes, of course.
Your Majesty, thank you.
Your security system is a bit lax.
Oh, is it?
HELEN: A week ago, Mia was a normal little kid.
She has never been normal. She was born royal.
And we cope with the press every single day...
and we will do it again.
You don't have to do this.
You can get out of this whole thing right now.
Your mother is right, Amelia.
We had a bargain.
All right. I will think about it...
and let you know soon.
CLARISSE: Good. A diplomatic answer.
Polite, but vague.
Mia Thermopolis is the daughter...
of local eclectic artist Helen Thermopolis.
They currently live in a refurbished firehouse...
south of Market Street.
Mia is also the only grandchild of Queen Clarisse Renaldi...
whose husband, King Rupert, passed away last year.
This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.
[ School bell rings ]
WOMAN ON P.A.: Will the Feng Shui Club...
please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn?
LILLY: Hello? Princess?
You're the most popular girl in school.
Everybody wants to take your picture.
Everybody wants to be your best friend.
- Hi, Lilly. - Hi.
LILLY: So I've made a list...
of all the reasons for you not to be a princess.
Number one--no privacy.
Number two--you always have to look just right.
- Number three-- - Whoo!
MIA: Ha ha ha!
LILY: Are you OK?
MIA: Ha ha! Number three. What was number three?
Number three-- you can't go nut so.
You can't be all "Bleah" during the day.
Lilly, um...
I really don't want to talk about this...
at the moment, OK?
Just one last question.
Now that you're "out"...
would you come on my cable show on Saturday night?
Yeah, sure.
I love you!
I'll buy you another charm for your charm bracelet.
OK? Ooh!
See you Saturday night!
Joe!
Yes, Miss Mia?
I don't want to run my own country.
I just want to pass 10th grade...
so can't I just tell everyone that I simply quit?
No one can quit being who they really are...
not even a princess.
Now, you can refuse the job...
but you are a princess by birth.
How can I tell if I can even do the job?
By simply, simply trying.
Like the fancy dinner coming up.
She thinks you're ready.
MIA: Really?
Shall we practice entering like a princess?
OK.
Entering.
JOSEPH: At the grand ball, you enter with the queen...
but at the state dinner, you enter unaccompanied.
Shoulders back. Smile.
They're all happy to see you.
BARON: Ah, there she is.
BARONESS: How is she?
You are much prettier.
[ Mia exhales ]
JOE: Well done. The worst is over.
Our diligent Prime Minister, Sebastian Motaz...
Hello.
And his lovely wife Sheila...
Nice to meet you.
And their charming daughter Marissa.
Oh! Lord Fricker, let me take your brandy glass.
You won't need it in there.
And easy on the schnapps.
Remember the Winter Dinner.
MARISSA: I'm not allowed to go to the party.
[ Chuckling ]
Dinner is served.
[ Snoring ]
MOTAZ: Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse.
Someday we will own Genovia again...
and you will be queen.
And your face will be on a postage stamp.
CLARISSE: How are the children, Robbie?
Would you like to see them, ma'am?
There's Ryan and Bridget.
CLARISSE: Oh, they're beautiful.
Would you like to see?
PRINCESS PALISADES: So, Mr. Prime Minister...
how would you say the pear market...
is doing in Genovia?
The Genovian pear market is blossoming...
if you'll pardon the pun.
[ Overlapping conversations ]
And that's their princess.
They grow up so fast, don't they?
MIA: Hi. You wanted to see me?
Is everything all right?
Um, yes, yes.
What was happening with the ice bucket?
Oh. I just had a little clumsy moment.
- OK. - Bye.
The food's delicious, by the way.
SHEILA: It was for a feminist group in Scotland...
called "Tarts for Tartan."
They were a wild bunch.
Very exciting.
Thank you.
Between the courses to cleanse the palate.
Bien?
[ Whimpers ]
[ Mumbles ] I'm sorry. It's a little cold.
SHEILA: She didn't realize it was frozen.
What should we do?
Well, we should take that much, too.
Just do the same thing.
MIA: No! No! It's cold!
[ Both mumbling ]
They are acting like monkeys.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
[ Mumbling ]
[ Snorts ]
[ Snorting ]
[ Bang ] Ah!
[ Bang ] Ah!
[ Gasps ]
Have you ever experienced that instant headache...
when you eat ice too quickly?
No.
Wash your hands.
[ Clearing throat ]
[ Clears throat ]
[ Tapping ]
Excuse me.
I'm really sorry.
It happens all the time.
I would like to propose a toast...
to the Baroness and Baron Von Troken.
May you always be Baron.
Ahh, the famous Genovian pear and cheese dessert.
What else?
Ooh.
WOMAN: ...to our country.
You are nothing but an overdressed, drunken--
I'm outta here!
Oof! Aah!
WOMAN: Oh! I am sopping!
Was that my fault?
Ha ha ha ha!
[ Laughing ]
Shall we adjourn to the grand hall for coffee?
Sorry I let you down, Dad.
[ Winding ]
[ Sighs ] Good night, Louie.
[ Music playing ]
CLARISSE: This place was such a mess when I first arrived.
I've been spending every spare moment in it I can.
Pick up one of these. Make yourself useful.
Spray everything.
You're not mad at me for what happened?
Actually, I found it rather funny.
Reminds me of my first royal dinner party.
I accidentally knocked over a suit of armor...
and the spear went right through the suckling pig.
Amelia, why don't we cancel lessons for today...
and just have some fun?
MIA: Fun?
You're not too busy for something like that?
Your Majesty, Lady Jerome has arrived...
and I have the French Consulate's assistant on hold.
He wants to confirm tonight's dinner.
Send my apologies.
Cancel everything for today.
I'm being shown San Francisco...
by a true San Franciscan.
Tell Joseph I'll need the car.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, wait! I want to show you my baby.
It's a she thing and it's all in me
I can be anything that I want to be
Don't consider me a minority
Ladies, help me out...
CLARISSE: I haven't sat in the front seat of a car...
in the longest time.
MIA: By the way...
thanks for the money for my car, Grandma.
CLARISSE: So, where are you taking me?
MIA: Well, do you have any change?
CLARISSE: It's not appropriate for royalty to jingle.
MIA: OK. I'll get the change.
This one's my favorite!
You put the quarter in and grab his hand.
CLARISSE: I touch that?
Yes, you touch that.
And then you press the button...
and, uh...
And then you just go.
CLARISSE: Looks like Rupert's cousin...
from Liechtenstein.
How do I know when it's ready?
Oh, it'll just go. There you go!
- Go, go, go! - Ow!
CLARISSE: You enjoy this humiliation?
MIA: Well, it's hard the first time...
but you can do it again.
Hold this.
MIA: Oh, come on! You can do it, Grandma!
I'm ready for you this time!
Ready?
Go! It's going! It's going!
Go, go, go, go, go! You're doing it!
You're doing it! Go! Oh, yes!
Hah! Ho!
Got it! Give me five!
- Five? - Five.
Oh!
[ Bell dings ]
[ Mia laughs ]
Oh!
I want one of these!
Just not this one.
So...did my father always want to be a prince?
Oh, yes.
Except once, about 15 years ago...
he seriously considered renouncing his title...
because he met a lovely artist...
who showed him wonderful things...
about how life could be...
how he could be.
But?
But he had a decision to make...
and nobody could make it for him.
Not I--though many people thought I did--
or anybody else.
Phillipe knew that my firstborn...
his brother Pierre, wanted to abdicate...
which he did, eventually, to join the church.
Your father realized...
that the love he could have for one person--
or even two--
could not make him forget the love...
he felt for his country and its people.
It was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
Um...oh...
Do you want a bite of this?
Why not?
Well, here goes.
Why, it's delicious!
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, OK! Let's get another one!
MIA: It's the fastest way back to the Consulate...
but I hate this hill!
I do believe I'm beginning to feel that corn dog.
Uhh! Eh! Ah!
Maybe you can just sneak gently through?
- OK, I'll try. - Good.
CLARISSE: Right. Now, blaze on up.
MIA: I--I got it!
- You've got it. - I got it!
You've got it!
Uhh!
MIA: Oh! I haven't got it!
CLARISSE: Uh-oh! Mia! Brake!
Brake! Look out!
Down here!
MIA: Aah!
- Oh! - Oh!
9-1-1 , I need to report an accident.
CONDUCTOR: You didn't hear the bell?!
[ Bell ringing ]
They put me on hold.
Oh, for the love of God!
CONDUCTOR: Put down destruction of public property.
I will, I will. And last, but not least...
driving without a license.
Accompanied by an adult whose license expired...
45 years ago.
I've been trying to tell you, Officer.
Licenses don't expire in Genovia.
Not for the queen.
Don't I have diplomatic immunity?
You do, but her we have to take downtown.
What?
OFFICER: I'm sorry, miss.
It's all right, Officer. I understand.
I...
I understand perfectly.
You do?
Mia, no town, no city, no country...
can function peacefully...
if its officers and its transportation engineers...
don't follow the letter of the law.
Why, I would be proud...
to have two such fine, honorable gentlemen...
serving in Genovia.
OFFICER: Aw, shucks, ma'am.
Ma'am, we're not all that.
Oh, but you most certainly are.
As a matter of fact...
I would like to bestow upon you...
the honor of the...
Genovian Order of the...
uh...Genovian Order of the Rose.
Oh--oh! Ooh!
- Ooh! - Ooh!
Oh.
Would you please kneel?
Um...does anybody have a sabre?
Oh! I've got an umbrella!
I have an emergency brake.
This will do fine, thank you.
With the power vested in me...
by the royal crown of Genovia...
I dub thee--
Artie Washington, San Francisco, ma'am.
CLARISSE: Arthur Washington.
And I dub thee--
Bruce Macintosh of San Leandro.
Bruce Macintosh...
masters of the Order of the Rose.
And all of you bear witness...
to this auspicious moment in history.
Please rise.
OFFICER: Wait till I go home and tell Bernice.
Now, Mia, I know you don't want to go...
all the way downtown, but--
That really won't be necessary.
No one got hurt, did they?
- We're insured. - OK.
Chivalry ain't dead, you know, so--
Noble Arthur, how very kind.
OFFICER: Do you need a lift home?
Oh, that would be very helpful, thank you.
Come along, Mia.
CLARISSE: Good-bye, trolley people!
MIA: Please take the car to Doctor Motors?
- Good-bye! - So long!
Good-bye!
Good-bye.
You were awesome!
You are the coolest queen ever!
All in a day's work.
Wave good-bye! That's a queen!
Would you like to slide in first?
I never slide.
Good-bye.
Thank you.
TOURISTS: Good-bye!
MAN: Hey, Bruce!
How about getting on your royal carriage...
and getting us out of here?
TOUR DRIVER: Here she is.
This is the possible new Princess of Genovia here.
That's right. Anyone know where Genovia is?
Anyone?
TOUR KID: It's a country between France and Spain.
That was a question on "Jeopardy. "
TOUR DRIVER: This is the girl that won the genetic lottery.
TOUR KID: Look! Here's the princess!
HARBULA: OK, back up. Let's go.
The princess is late for school.
TOUR KID: Could you sign my backpack?
TOUR KID: Hi, Princess.
May I have your autograph, please?
Hi. What's your name?
Lilly.
Lilly? That's my best friend's name.
Would you consider you and the princess best friends?
I would definitely say that.
We do everything together.
We shop together, get our hair done together.
We even finish Reach other's sentences.
It's very cool.
MIA: And what's your name?
Charlotte.
Charlotte? You two must be twins, huh?
CHARLOTTE: Yes.
MIA: I don't have any sisters...
but I do have a cat-- Fat Louie.
CHARLOTTE: That's a funny name!
Will you take a picture with me, Princess?
HARBULA: The princess is late for algebra.
MIA: Thank you so much.
The pack is back. Are you ready?
[ Stops playing ]
Do they see you when they look at me?
Do they see my many personalities?
Oh, no
Can you help me?
Does anybody hear me?
Can they even see me?
This is not reality
Oh
Mia.
Why can't I just reach up and simply...
Hi...hi.
Step into my office.
Why can't I flap my arms and fly and fly and fly?
Tell me why...
Hey.
Hi.
So, um...
I hope what Lana said on TV...
didn't freak you out too much.
- No. - OK, good.
Because I broke up with her because of it...
and I hate phony publicity seekers.
Anyway...
Saturday night's the big beach party.
Uh-huh.
I think it'd be cool if we went together.
See you on the waves?
OK. OK.
Bye. [ Laughs ]
P.A.: Attention.
Remember to watch Grove High School's TV cable show...
Saturday nights with your host Lilly Moscovitz.
MIA: Michael.
Princess.
You will never guess what Josh Bryant just asked me.
"Can I borrow a comb?"
No. He asked me...
to go to the Baker Beach Party with him.
That's this Saturday, right?
Yeah. So I was thinking...
I could come by the garage next week...
and listen to your band play then. All right?
Oh, yeah. That's--Yeah.
- Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.
All right. Well, I have to go...
but thank you so much. Bye!
Bye.
Too many feelings
Emotions running away with me
There's a feeling inside me
HELEN: Is Joseph driving you?
MIA: No. Joseph was nice enough...
to take the night off.
I'll take the school bus with the other kids.
I look like an asparagus.
But a very, very cute asparagus.
No, it's OK. I'll just wear my blue suit.
Are you nervous about the beach party?
No. Actually, I'm kind of excited.
I think I might get my first real kiss.
- Oh! Who from? - Josh Bryant.
That Backstreet Boy clone you've had a crush on forever?
He is not a Backstreet Boy clone.
He's a sailor.
I thought he was never nice to you.
Oh. Well...
I don't know. He is now.
I just hope that if he kisses me...
um...my foot pops.
Pops?
Yeah. You know, in old films...
whenever a girl gets seriously kissed...
her foot would just kind of...pop.
Ha ha ha! Pop!
Ha ha ha!
I'm gonna go change now.
I hope you get your first real foot-popping kiss.
We are Mark and Brian...
and welcome to the Baker Beach Bash.
MARK: Now, with one week left of school...
you're gonna be out for the summer...
and we know what's on your mind.
How are you gonna find that summer love?
And if you do, how do you know if it's true?
Here to tell us all about it, please welcome...
Lana and the Lanettes!
MARK AND BRIAN: Lana, Anna, and Fontana!
Stupid cupid, you're a real mean guy
I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly
I'm in love and it's a crying shame
And I know that you're the one to blame
ANNA AND FONTANA: Stupid cupid
Hey, hey, set me free
Stupid cupid, stop picking on me
You mixed me up but good
Right from the very start
Hey, go play Robin Hood
With somebody else's heart
You got me jumping like a crazy clown...
JOSH: Uhh!
MIA: That was so--
- Awesome, huh? - Amazing!
Ha ha! I'm glad you had fun.
I thought you'd get scared, honestly...
'cause most of the girls I take on the boat...
they freak out.
Oh, no. I wasn't scared.
Stupid cupid, stop picking on me
Stupid cupid
And now it's time for your favorite talk show host...
direct from Grove High School...
the lovely Lilly.
[ Gong ]
LILLY: It's Saturday night...
and welcome to my cable show, "Shut Up and Listen. "
Later on in my show...
I will be joined by our very own Princess Mia...
to discuss her positive opinion...
of the "Save the Sea Otter" movement.
Until she arrives...
I've asked Grove's magic master...
Jeremiah Hart...
to entertain us with some sleight of hand.
Hello, folks.
Hold me, baby, 'cause you love me
With every single touch
It's more than just a crush
Baby, you know
Reach me
Only you can see me
And what I crave so much
It's more than just a crush
It's more than just a crush
Every time we touch
GIRL: Awesome!
Hey, Princess! Give us a smile!
How did they find me here?
What?
How did they find me here?!
PHOTOGRAPHER: Hey, wave, everybody!
You're on TV!
Wait, Princess, don't be shy!
Come back!
BRIAN: Hey, chopper boy, look over here!
Royal deejays!
Josh!
Oh, no! I am so sorry about all this.
No, it's fine.
They can't get us in here.
We were having such a good time...
and then they came and ruined it.
I know, I know. Look, they can't see us...
we can't see them.
We're all alone in this little shack.
Actually, you know what?
It's kind of cozy in here...
and there's no one I'd rather be here with than you.
Really?
Yeah.
- Josh? - Mm-hmm?
This isn't romantic.
Um...it just...
No. It's my foot.
It's caught in a volleyball net.
Yeah. Here.
Ooh!
GIRL: Hey! My dad thinks I'm a princess!
GIRL: I'm a friend of Mia's!
I tell you what. While we're waiting...
how about a foot massage?
That would be so wonderful. Thank you.
No. Actually, I mean you give me one.
Oh, yeah.
And indeed, it is the queen of hearts!
LILLY: Thank you, Jeremiah...
for your potpourri of prestidigitations...
for the past hour.
Obviously, Princess Mia has a problem...
appearing here tonight...
and I'm sure she has a good excuse.
I'm Lilly Moscovitz for "Shut Up and Listen. "
Thank you and good night.
Mia...
the coast is clear.
Really?
They're gone. Yeah.
Oh, good.
So, what do you say we go find...
a more romantic spot?
OK.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Quiet! Quiet!
[ Cameras clicking ]
[ Shouting ]
JOSH: No! Stay!
[ Overlapping questions ]
Give her a smooch!
REPORTER: Come on! Give her a big, sloppy wet one!
PHOTOGRAPHER: Hold it!
Uhh!
Hit him again!
MIA: Go away! No, no, no! Go away, all of you!
The princess has left the building.
REPORTER: Who have we got?
What's your name?
NELSON: Where do you go to school?
Josh Bryant.
I go to Grove High School.
What are we, friends with Mia now?
Yes. We hate Josh.
Sorry. It's hard to keep up with who we're not talking to.
Here she comes!
ALL: Mia!
I'm really sorry. I can't talk.
I have to go get my clothes.
Well, here. We've got your clothes.
You'll be a lot warmer.
You guys want to help me?
Yeah. Josh is such an idiot.
We'll make sure no one bothers you.
Thank you. Um...
That's really nice of you.
This is so great of you.
Thank you so much.
Everything's fine.
MIA: Is anybody coming?
- No! - No!
MIA: Guys, I really appreciate this.
Thank you.
She's got her bathing suit off.
OK, now!
Princess, hi!
Aah!
REPORTER: That was the scream of Princess Mia.
Go away, all of you, please!
HARBULA: OK. Come here, Mia.
Piranhas, all of you! Back off!
HELEN: My mom always told me I couldn't cry...
and told me to be a big girl...
but you've been hurt, so you just cry.
[ Crying ]
It was really bad.
My foot didn't even pop.
SUKI: It was just last night...
that San Francisco's own little princess...
partied at the beach...
but what started out as innocent fun...
soon turned into allegedly too much fun.
This is Suki Sanchez for KPFW.
Please say something.
CLARISSE: Well, there's not much to say.
A picture's worth a thousand words...
and you have two pictures.
I embarrassed the family, didn't I?
Not to put too fine a point on it, yes, you did.
I think you're making a wise decision...
to abstain from the job.
I suppose I won't come to the ball.
CLARISSE: Of course you should come.
You're still family.
Just because you don't want to be our princess...
doesn't mean we're sending you into exile.
Your mother's planning to come.
All your guests are invited.
Except for your beach friends.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
I'm meeting with the press to do some damage control.
You can come in now.
If I may say so...
that did not go very well.
Is this the way a princess should act?
My information tells me that boy was using her.
The kiss was merely a device...
so that he could get his 15 minutes of fame.
And her friends didn't help, either.
Anna, Falana, Banana, Bandana, Montana...
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Why didn't she have enough common sense...
to deal with this?
She's only 15...
but today, she acted beyond her years.
She showed great respect...
and gracefully accepted your criticism.
You're saying that as a queen, I was too harsh on her.
I was critical of the person...
who could become the next ruler of my country.
No. I'm saying, as a grandmother...
you might have been too harsh on your granddaughter.
[ Sighs ]
Do you think she can do it?
Oh, I have no doubts, ma'am.
I thought so, too.
What makes you different
Makes you beautiful
What's there inside you
Shines through to me
In your eyes I see
All the love I'll ever need
BOY: Hey, it's Mia Thermopolips.
Can you autograph your picture? Josh did.
Hey, there's Princess Pucker-up.
[ Bell rings ]
What makes you different makes you beautiful
What's there inside you
Shines through to me
In your eyes I see
All the love I'll ever need
Lilly?
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute, please?
Lilly, can I just talk to you for a minute?
- Is that cool? - Sure. Let's talk.
But about what, hmm?
How you broke my brother's heart...
or how you stuck me with Jeremiah...
during my cable show doing...
"Pick a card, pick a card." Mwah mwah mwah!
I'm sorry, OK?
I forgot to call you and tell you...
that I couldn't make it.
So I was stuck with the Happy Houdini...
while you make out with the Yachting Yahoo.
Those are really good alliterations.
No! I don't want to talk about alliterations!
Lilly, I came up here to tell you that I'm sorry!
I'm sorry I missed your cable show...
and I'm just really sorry.
LILLY: I can't believe that you hung me up...
after all I did for you.
I kept your royal secret.
And do you know how hard it is...
to have a cable show and keep a secret?
You didn't keep it a secret from me...
how jerky you thought my being a princess was.
Well, congratulations. You got your wish.
I'm not gonna be a princess.
You're not?
No.
But I want you to be.
What?
[ Sighs ]
I didn't mean it.
The green monster of jealousy came out...
because you were Miss Popular...
and I thought I was losing my best friend...
so I got angry and upset and hurt and...
I told you!
I need an attitude adjustment.
But the truth is...
you being a princess is kind of a miracle.
Whoa! No!
What miracle?
It's a nightmare!
No! Think about it!
I just found out that my cable show...
only reaches 12 people.
Wanting to rock the world, but having zip power like me--
now, that's a nightmare.
But you--Wow!
I mean...
MIA: What is so "Wow"?
Wow is having the power to affect change...
make people listen.
How many teenagers have that power?
What more of a miracle do you want?
Well...
we'll just have to find a different miracle.
Not more, just different.
Listen...
tomorrow night...
is the Genovian Independence Day ball...
and to make up for my missing your cable show...
I'm inviting you.
I hope you'll forgive me...
and I hope you come.
LILLY: But what will I wear?
MIA: [ Squeals ] Mmm! Yay!
I don't know, but it doesn't really matter.
I'm just happy that you're gonna come!
LILLY: Thanks. And you can be a princess.
- No, I can't. - Yes, you can.
- Yes, you can. - No, I can't.
Let's move it in. Move in! Let's go!
HARBULA: Bobby Bad, hang up the phone!
Yes, Mom. I'll go to the dentist after school.
I hate it when they move in like that.
Mia, it's not a championship game.
It's not even a big game. It's just gym class.
Just hit the ball.
I don't want to flunk you in gym class.
Come on. You can do it.
Keep your eye on the ball.
CHEERLEADERS: That's all right! That's OK!
You're gonna hit it anyway!
Go, Lions!
[ Cheerleaders shrieking ]
Come on, girls. It's a ball, not a snake.
Back in formation!
I'm sorry.
Foul ball. It's all right.
You got a piece of it. It's OK.
Just focus.
Ha ha ha!
HARBULA: Focus.
Focus.
That's all right! That's OK!
Come on, Mia. Remember, it's only a game!
HARBULA: Keep your eye on the ball.
Go, Lions!
CHEERLEADERS: Grr-eat!
Let's go! Let's go!
BOBBY BAD: Would you rather hit a beach ball?
Order me a pizza, huh? Pepperoni.
Uhh!
Oh! Oh! [ Girls screaming ]
- Run, Mia! - All right! Go! Go!
I gotta go. Get up!
What are you doing? Get up!
HARBULA: All the way, Mia!
Hi, Josh.
Come on, girl!
HARBULA: All the way, Mia! Come on!
Safe! And you passed.
Whoo! Mia!
HARBULA: Nice job, Mia. Way to go!
[ Bell rings ]
Oh! Uh...it's open.
Come on in.
Michael! Hi.
How are you?
- What? - Little guy on your--